Ladies,
To shed a little back story on what transpired. 2 weeks ago I scheduled a sit down with a real estate agent to see a few homes that my girlfriend of 3 1/2 years and I are interested in viewing. Last week, my girlfriend informed me that we were going to couple's game night the Friday prior to us meeting the real estate agent. Awesome! I tell her I'm game for it and I go into this having an expectation of not staying out terribly late since we were to meet the agent at 10am the next morning.
Fast forward to game night, we're having a pretty good time. 12pam rolls around and no big deal. 1am rolls around and I'm getting ansi since we have a 30 minute drive to get home. Finally, at 2:30 we're home. Approx. 7 1/2 hours til we're scheduled to meet the agent. We're in bed by 3 am after a disagreement(I just passed out - I was not drinking.)
8:30am rolls around and she comes out of the bedroom and asks me what we're going to do. I told her I do not know at this point because none of the kids are awake and she's not doing anything to start the day. 9:00am rolls around and I find her asleep in the bed. I nudge her and ask her if she wants me to call this lady to cancel the appt. She didn't say anything and rolled over. I left it alone and at 9:10am I called the agent and cancelled, citing some personal issues that arose.
(I don't know if it's a pattern but this is not the first time we've got into a fight prior to seeing homes.) Is it possible, she's fighting that notion of moving forward? Just a thought.
Well, she comes from the bedroom again and asks me whats wrong while I'm standing in the kitchen. I informed her, in a very loud voice, that I was pissed because I had to lie to this lady about some personal problem that's preventing us from going. I told my GF I was upset because I do not like wasting people's time and energy for me if I'm not going to follow through on my end. I yelled this at her. There is no denying that. She walked away, packed up and left to her house.
One issue I have with her walking away from me is that I feel like there's a double standard. That double standard being that I'm not allowed to walk away(I could cite a time about 2 months prior to this when I did try walking away from an abusive conversation only to be told not to ever return if I leave.) So already, I find myself in a tough position.
The other issue I also have is that after a few heated conversations and normal conversations, the last words her and i have shared have been reduced to me asking her, "Are you giving up on trying with me?"
This question followed when I told her to call and set up a counseling session. She informed me that she really didn't want to do that. In the past, we've booked sessions but either forgot or did not make it a priority to go. Both guilty parties here. We've managed to make it to one session in which I spoke about 95% of the time and I again went back by myself in hopes of gaining more help/insight. She has never been back.
To which she responds, " Yes, because I love you."
Can someone please help me and how I'm to navigate the double standard? Do as I say and not as I do mentality, per se? I've found myself here often, and now I'm at the point where I'm questioning myself if it's even worth the hassle anymore.
The second part that confuses me is her comment of how she is giving up on me because she loves me. To me it appears to be a way to void herself of any responsibility. Maybe I'm wrong, maybe I'm not. I'm hoping this will be able to help shed some light.
There are more issues than this, but at this point this is where I'm at with her.
I am going on 32 and she turned 24 in Feb to give you an age reference.
To shed a little back story on what transpired. 2 weeks ago I scheduled a sit down with a real estate agent to see a few homes that my girlfriend of 3 1/2 years and I are interested in viewing. Last week, my girlfriend informed me that we were going to couple's game night the Friday prior to us meeting the real estate agent. Awesome! I tell her I'm game for it and I go into this having an expectation of not staying out terribly late since we were to meet the agent at 10am the next morning.
Fast forward to game night, we're having a pretty good time. 12pam rolls around and no big deal. 1am rolls around and I'm getting ansi since we have a 30 minute drive to get home. Finally, at 2:30 we're home. Approx. 7 1/2 hours til we're scheduled to meet the agent. We're in bed by 3 am after a disagreement(I just passed out - I was not drinking.)
8:30am rolls around and she comes out of the bedroom and asks me what we're going to do. I told her I do not know at this point because none of the kids are awake and she's not doing anything to start the day. 9:00am rolls around and I find her asleep in the bed. I nudge her and ask her if she wants me to call this lady to cancel the appt. She didn't say anything and rolled over. I left it alone and at 9:10am I called the agent and cancelled, citing some personal issues that arose.
(I don't know if it's a pattern but this is not the first time we've got into a fight prior to seeing homes.) Is it possible, she's fighting that notion of moving forward? Just a thought.
Well, she comes from the bedroom again and asks me whats wrong while I'm standing in the kitchen. I informed her, in a very loud voice, that I was pissed because I had to lie to this lady about some personal problem that's preventing us from going. I told my GF I was upset because I do not like wasting people's time and energy for me if I'm not going to follow through on my end. I yelled this at her. There is no denying that. She walked away, packed up and left to her house.
One issue I have with her walking away from me is that I feel like there's a double standard. That double standard being that I'm not allowed to walk away(I could cite a time about 2 months prior to this when I did try walking away from an abusive conversation only to be told not to ever return if I leave.) So already, I find myself in a tough position.
The other issue I also have is that after a few heated conversations and normal conversations, the last words her and i have shared have been reduced to me asking her, "Are you giving up on trying with me?"
This question followed when I told her to call and set up a counseling session. She informed me that she really didn't want to do that. In the past, we've booked sessions but either forgot or did not make it a priority to go. Both guilty parties here. We've managed to make it to one session in which I spoke about 95% of the time and I again went back by myself in hopes of gaining more help/insight. She has never been back.
To which she responds, " Yes, because I love you."
Can someone please help me and how I'm to navigate the double standard? Do as I say and not as I do mentality, per se? I've found myself here often, and now I'm at the point where I'm questioning myself if it's even worth the hassle anymore.
The second part that confuses me is her comment of how she is giving up on me because she loves me. To me it appears to be a way to void herself of any responsibility. Maybe I'm wrong, maybe I'm not. I'm hoping this will be able to help shed some light.
There are more issues than this, but at this point this is where I'm at with her.
I am going on 32 and she turned 24 in Feb to give you an age reference.
Put the internet to work for you.
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