My H and I are headed to Vegas in a couple of weeks. I have been doing what I have felt is normal reasonable planning given the scope of this trip and my H just said something to me that has me reeling.
This trip is not a casual road trip to a beach. This is a trip with flights, preplanned national pool tournament, concert, etc. We have a limited budget, so I looked into the following:
Transportation from the airport to the hotel (shuttle passes), as well as between venues we are to attend (bus passes). Which restaurants to steer clear of in the hotels that are WAY expensive. Also, timing between the pool tournament and the concert and gave him a casual update that the two remaining time frames we have are Friday night and Saturday morning with emphasis on what would he want to do. Had we not added my concert we would have only had one more time slot anyway and that's Saturday night.
He launched into this commentary about how he just wants to get out there and go with the flow and that he doesn't want to have every thing preplanned and then he threw in "This makes me think, I don't want to travel with this woman." That he wants to relax, when I was trying to make sure we didn't run into a bunch of kinks so that we COULD relax.
That one statement felt like a knife in my heart after how much he has talked about how much he appreciates my abilities and how well it serves us. I said "I don't even know how to respond to that." And tried to keep my cool, but I ended up telling him I was very upset and said I will talk to you later and almost ran out of the apartment.
MAJOR trigger following an affair... omg... I have had to resist ideas of telling him to take me out of the trip and sell the Celine tickets that I'm not going. I'm trying my best not to knee jerk after a comment like that, but I am HURT!
I felt totally confident to make reasonable travel plans to keep us safe, fed and have fun while not breaking the bank and he reacted as if doing that work upfront would kill any chance of us having fun. I told him, I am upset because you are treating my reasonable work as if it is unreasonable and that comment... I couldn't even talk about that with him. What a slap in the face...
I don't know what I'm going to do... we have almost $3000 already tied up in this trip and after this comment it is going to be VERY hard to finish planning and getting us out the door.. we have our son to shop for, pack for, get him to his grandmothers, our own shopping and packing, we have our dog that will be placed with a trainer while we are gone. He has NO idea what it takes to do this kind of travel...
all this one the heels of "hey honey... the time frames left to do something extra are Friday night and Saturday morning IF you would like to do anything... and encouraged him not to leave with regrets."
Even when I told him even if he just wants to totally relax.. I was ok with that.. I am just seriously struggling with that comment... I'm not even sure if he realizes the magnitude of that comment for me... I was trying not to be gutted by it, but it hit me that way.. We have been doing SO well... there has got to be a way past this moment.
This trip is not a casual road trip to a beach. This is a trip with flights, preplanned national pool tournament, concert, etc. We have a limited budget, so I looked into the following:
Transportation from the airport to the hotel (shuttle passes), as well as between venues we are to attend (bus passes). Which restaurants to steer clear of in the hotels that are WAY expensive. Also, timing between the pool tournament and the concert and gave him a casual update that the two remaining time frames we have are Friday night and Saturday morning with emphasis on what would he want to do. Had we not added my concert we would have only had one more time slot anyway and that's Saturday night.
He launched into this commentary about how he just wants to get out there and go with the flow and that he doesn't want to have every thing preplanned and then he threw in "This makes me think, I don't want to travel with this woman." That he wants to relax, when I was trying to make sure we didn't run into a bunch of kinks so that we COULD relax.
That one statement felt like a knife in my heart after how much he has talked about how much he appreciates my abilities and how well it serves us. I said "I don't even know how to respond to that." And tried to keep my cool, but I ended up telling him I was very upset and said I will talk to you later and almost ran out of the apartment.
MAJOR trigger following an affair... omg... I have had to resist ideas of telling him to take me out of the trip and sell the Celine tickets that I'm not going. I'm trying my best not to knee jerk after a comment like that, but I am HURT!
I felt totally confident to make reasonable travel plans to keep us safe, fed and have fun while not breaking the bank and he reacted as if doing that work upfront would kill any chance of us having fun. I told him, I am upset because you are treating my reasonable work as if it is unreasonable and that comment... I couldn't even talk about that with him. What a slap in the face...
I don't know what I'm going to do... we have almost $3000 already tied up in this trip and after this comment it is going to be VERY hard to finish planning and getting us out the door.. we have our son to shop for, pack for, get him to his grandmothers, our own shopping and packing, we have our dog that will be placed with a trainer while we are gone. He has NO idea what it takes to do this kind of travel...
all this one the heels of "hey honey... the time frames left to do something extra are Friday night and Saturday morning IF you would like to do anything... and encouraged him not to leave with regrets."
Even when I told him even if he just wants to totally relax.. I was ok with that.. I am just seriously struggling with that comment... I'm not even sure if he realizes the magnitude of that comment for me... I was trying not to be gutted by it, but it hit me that way.. We have been doing SO well... there has got to be a way past this moment.
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