Hi everyone!
I'm new here, but I won't use this thread to introduce myself; I'll do that in a more appropriate area.
However, let me know give you a little background on my situation before I tell you about my problem.
I am an American living in England and married to an Englishman. We've been married since January 2008. I moved from the US to England in March of 2008 permanently after my immigration status was cleared. My husband works in IT and because IT has been one of the hardest hit areas of employment over the past 5 years or so with recessions and "economic downturns" and such, he's been made redundant (lost his job) twice in the 6.5 years we've been married. Because I don't make enough to support us financially (and because we've only been able to rent not buy), we've had to move in with his mother both times. This second time, we've now been living with her for almost two years. In fact, we've now lived with her longer than we've lived alone as a married couple.
His parents are divorced, have been since he was about 15 (so over 25 years). His father is remarried, but his mother has spent the last two and a half decades alone. My husband's sister used to live with her until she herself got married about 4 years ago. My SIL is allergic to everything under the sun including being highly allergic to milk to the point of anaphylaxis.
Now here's the fun part: my MIL is driving me nuts. (How many of you were expecting that? :p ) I know this is her house, and I respect what's hers and the house as a whole. However, the woman doesn't respect anything that is someone else's. She has broken dishes of ours and never told anyone or offered to replace them. She uses our cutlery all the time and hides it in her cutlery drawers. I have to fish it out each time she unloads the dishwasher. My husband burned a pan of porridge once, and she took the pan and set it outside in the cold, didn't tell anyone, and just left it there. I only found it when I asked where the pan was as I wanted to use it. She sits on our furniture, spills tea on everything, but then complains if we get anywhere near her sofa because we might get milk products on it and contaminate it. She uses our dishes, pans, crockery, anything she can get her hands on of ours when she has her own perfectly fine items to use. She piles her handbag and shoes on top of my stuff in the doorway when she has her own table to use. We have most of our things crammed into a spare bedroom upstairs that overlooks the neighbour's back garden. She likes to go into that room, move OUR stuff around so she can reach the window, pull back the curtain and spy on her neighbour. She was apparently yelling at my husband last night while they were watching TV because she wanted him to turn the channel on OUR TV so she could watch the news. She goes out during the day while we're both at work, but magically appears again as soon as we come home. Sometimes, I think she's parked around the corner waiting for us to get home! After we're home at night after work, she plops herself down in front of the TV and won't leave the room. My husband and I can't even watch a movie or TV show alone. We can't have a conversation without her butting in. She's an absolute know-it-all whose expertise is everything!
Here's my beef: she doesn't respect anybody else's property or privacy. I'm fed up. I can't stand coming home anymore, and I avoid her at all costs. I suppose it's just me, but I would never use someone else's property if they lived in my house!
Am I being unreasonable??? :confused:
I'm new here, but I won't use this thread to introduce myself; I'll do that in a more appropriate area.
However, let me know give you a little background on my situation before I tell you about my problem.
I am an American living in England and married to an Englishman. We've been married since January 2008. I moved from the US to England in March of 2008 permanently after my immigration status was cleared. My husband works in IT and because IT has been one of the hardest hit areas of employment over the past 5 years or so with recessions and "economic downturns" and such, he's been made redundant (lost his job) twice in the 6.5 years we've been married. Because I don't make enough to support us financially (and because we've only been able to rent not buy), we've had to move in with his mother both times. This second time, we've now been living with her for almost two years. In fact, we've now lived with her longer than we've lived alone as a married couple.
His parents are divorced, have been since he was about 15 (so over 25 years). His father is remarried, but his mother has spent the last two and a half decades alone. My husband's sister used to live with her until she herself got married about 4 years ago. My SIL is allergic to everything under the sun including being highly allergic to milk to the point of anaphylaxis.
Now here's the fun part: my MIL is driving me nuts. (How many of you were expecting that? :p ) I know this is her house, and I respect what's hers and the house as a whole. However, the woman doesn't respect anything that is someone else's. She has broken dishes of ours and never told anyone or offered to replace them. She uses our cutlery all the time and hides it in her cutlery drawers. I have to fish it out each time she unloads the dishwasher. My husband burned a pan of porridge once, and she took the pan and set it outside in the cold, didn't tell anyone, and just left it there. I only found it when I asked where the pan was as I wanted to use it. She sits on our furniture, spills tea on everything, but then complains if we get anywhere near her sofa because we might get milk products on it and contaminate it. She uses our dishes, pans, crockery, anything she can get her hands on of ours when she has her own perfectly fine items to use. She piles her handbag and shoes on top of my stuff in the doorway when she has her own table to use. We have most of our things crammed into a spare bedroom upstairs that overlooks the neighbour's back garden. She likes to go into that room, move OUR stuff around so she can reach the window, pull back the curtain and spy on her neighbour. She was apparently yelling at my husband last night while they were watching TV because she wanted him to turn the channel on OUR TV so she could watch the news. She goes out during the day while we're both at work, but magically appears again as soon as we come home. Sometimes, I think she's parked around the corner waiting for us to get home! After we're home at night after work, she plops herself down in front of the TV and won't leave the room. My husband and I can't even watch a movie or TV show alone. We can't have a conversation without her butting in. She's an absolute know-it-all whose expertise is everything!
Here's my beef: she doesn't respect anybody else's property or privacy. I'm fed up. I can't stand coming home anymore, and I avoid her at all costs. I suppose it's just me, but I would never use someone else's property if they lived in my house!
Am I being unreasonable??? :confused:
Put the internet to work for you.
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