I'm sorry this is so long but i really need some advice
So everytime i get talking to a boy and it seems like we're getting somewhere they change and suddenly become incredibly nasty. I was in a relationship on and off for about a year and two months during which he said horrible things to me such as commenting on my spots, calling me ugly, telling me i was horrible in bed, and commenting on my parents saying they were terrible and the reason why i was apparently a hoe. He's the only person i've ever slept with and initially i didn't actually want too and told him to leave it but he insisted. He's said a lot worse but i can't really recall it, my parents split up when i was 7 due to a very very serious domestic dispute which i witnessed and i told him about. We recently started talking again and i brought him saying this up as it was something that hurt me and he brushed it off. I know i shouldn't talk to him but i can't help it when i get bored/. I DO NOT have feelings for him though. Recently i've started talking to this boy an d we had really great conversations but suddenly he's changed calling me really mean things. Not to a personal extent just general disrespect and swear words but i told him i don't want to talk to him anymore. I'm kind of hoping he'll message me again but i know deep down that nothing could ever happen between us because he'd continue acting like this during the relationship.
I just want to know guys are always like this to me. This isn't the first time this has happened it happens a lot. I seem to get a lot of disrespect from guys. ALL the time. I dont understand because i always try to respect myself and stop anything like this in it's tracks. Is it because of what i saw when i was young. I feel like i'm trapped in cycle and i'll marry an abusive person too and end up a single mum. Not that there's anything wrong with that my mum did a great job but it's not ideal is it.
I have one male friend that's nice to me and we talk all the time but apart from him that's it. EVERY BOY I KNOW is horrible to me i don't know why.
I get on fine with girls and i have a lot of female friends. Females seem to want to be my friend. I'm quite weird and very talkative so i don't think it's because i'm boring. I can talk for days. I'm quite academically smart i do well in my studies, i'm in college and i'm expecting 4A'S in Science based subjects. I'm not a mean person, i hate the idea of hurting someones feelings so i dont comment back with mean comments when people say things like this to me. I'm not hideous i think. I'm really really confused and upset and i just need some advice. It's ruining my self esteem i used to be really confident and a great public speaker before ex. Thanks
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