Wife vs. Mom

So.. I'm having woman trouble all around. My mom's a super sweet lady. Cringingly so. Whenever I talk to her she has to ask how everybody in the family is (including my wife's side - yes, I know my in-laws are my family, too - and my dad's side - they're divorced.) I'm sure she feels bad if she forgets to ask about somebody. The point is, she's super sappy, wants to be friends with everyone, and she gets sad and her feelings hurt easily. She's also a person I've gone to for emotional support for my entire life. My mother-in-law (I may not be completely objective here) seems to like to create drama - snide and/or hurtful remarks galore, back-handed compliments. She openly admits to and revels in being a witch. My wife would dispute this but I honestly feel that my mother-in-law likes to make things harder for her kids. She'll make remarks regarding how lucky my wife is to not have to deal with issues like she - my MIL - had to (and in a manner that makes it sound like she WANTS my wife/her daughter to have issues.) It baffles me. My wife - very black and white and raised almost exclusively by her mother. She will debate something if she doesn't see logic behind the other side and she often debate/argues with her mom. It's kind of the way they communicate, in almost a confrontational manner. I hear about how her mom upsets her multiple times a week. But they argue and get over it. (Opposite of me - it takes a lot to upset me but when I'm rattled, it takes time for me to come down from it too.) Anyway, here's what I'm struggling with: My wife and I are newly married and ever since our mother's met (prior to our wedding), there's been mom drama. If my wife and I argue, it's typically as a result of our mothers somehow. It's not horrible right now but it's wearing on me and I don't want it to be an issue moving forward. My wife would dispute this as well but I believe my MIL said something to my wife to cause a rift between my mom and wife. It really is a bunch of "he said, she said" but it worked. I vehemently defended my mom, my wife defended hers (our worst argument to date), and while my wife and I have been able to move forward beyond this argument, the issue lingers.. for two reasons: 1 - My wife isn't as warm to my mom as she used to be (my observation) or super sweetly warm to her as my mom would like (and I don't expect her to be as my mom can be a lot to swallow sometimes.) She's also quick to be annoyed by my mom. AND 2 - My mom is constantly hurt by it and is starting to "keep score" (she notes how much time we spend at her place when we visit.) I believe my mom is starting to see slights that don't exist. (Okay, maybe there are more than two reasons there.) So I do what I can to be the middle-man and keep the peace by translating mom-speak to something that won't annoy my wife and wife-speak into something that won't hurt my mom. But I'm tired of it and the one time I didn't play middle-man.. well, my mom wound up very hurt (for no reason but for an avoidable reason - I don't want to get into specifics but let's say that my wife could have said "thank you" but instead "no thank you" and my mom was hurt by the rejection.) I know I'm rambling but both know that I just want them to get along. I feel like my wife's opinion of my mom has been knocked down severely (to where she thinks hers and mine are the same but react differently.. and maybe that's the case but I don't think so at all since I see my mom as a loving and caring individual who wants the best for her kids .) And my wife and I are expecting our first child soon.. a girl, of course.. which I know will make things so much easier! Any and all constructive advise is appreciated! Or you can just laugh at me. That's fine, too.

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