| Hello Everyone, I am new to this board and am in desperate need of advice. I really didn't know where else to turn. As anyone who has been married for a long length of time - I have much baggage but to sum up my issues now I will condense quite a bit. My husband and I have been married 20 years and together for 25. He has some physical/mental issues that have kept him a stay home dad. (agoraphobia, PTSD, and back issues) We have always firmly believed that one of us ,needed to be home for our children. That being said our kids are 17 & 19. When dating we were like rabbits, sex was a 3 to 6 times a day thing. When first married and setting up a household it slowed just a bit to about 2 - 4 times a day, after our first child was born and I started working full time it was once a day or every other day. Now its once every few months. He would still like it several times a day - everyday but I am not interested. I work 50 to 60 hours a week to keep us afloat and am a full time student (working towards my Masters degree). I also am care taker to my in-laws (long story there). Needless to say my husband gets cranky because I don't want sex as much as him. Lately he has been staying up late hours watching porn and masturbating. I am usually a rock hard sleeper but in the last few months I have had trouble staying asleep and wake up to him hounding over me, watching porn, and masturbating. Then he wants me to have sex. I tried to give in to him and hoped that would satisfy him - he is rough and wants to drag it out for hours and my body just cant take it (I am no spring chicken). And when we have sex, it makes him want it more and more. I have so much on me right now it is really pissing me off and I do not want to fight with him (thats why I am here). I have tried to talk to him and explain my feelings and he just gets snarky and says "if I cant have sex with my wife - why are we married"? Its all said in a state of arousal and he will try to wake me so I notice his arousal (several times a night) and get mad if I am tired and dismiss him. I am really at my wits end. He is home all day, sleeps most of the day and then up running around (kids are self sufficient at this point) and by the time I get home from work, relax, eat a bit, complete studies it is usually about 11 - 12 pm and all I want is sleep (up at 5am for work). I am getting resentful, angry, hurt and confused. If anyone has any advise or has been through this sort of situation I would be very grateful for your comments. (first posted in general forum - moved to appropriate forum):rolleyes: | |||
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