Trying to Reconcile After I Left

Hey all, I left my wife after being married for 10 years. We have 2 kids, 6 and 2. There was never any abuse or anything, but we both eventually just grew stagnant - we stopped interacting, we knew everything about each other, we stopped trying. We were proud of the fact that we never argued or fought, but what it really meant is that we actively suppressed our own wants/needs for the 'sake of the relationship'. I fell in love with another woman that I met during the separation. It's been a few months and I can not get over the nagging fear of regret and a desire to see if there can be anything salvaged from my marriage before I go jumping over the fence to the 'greener grass'. That was a difficult choice, because I really do love this other woman as well. I have read a lot of books on the topic and have been meeting with a therapist since the split. My wife also agreed that we needed a separation but wants to see if we can basically fall in love with each other all over again - we were heavily codependent and are just now discovering ourselves as people. My fear is that the desire and fear of regret that I have is only passing or just a natural part of the divorce and that I'm only setting us up for failure if I do agree to go to couples counseling and therapy. I have already told the other woman that I can not continue communicating with her and have told my wife that I will try. But that was just a couple days ago - and I am still really working on getting over the OW. Is that normal? I have such split desires and I am tired of hurting people. During the last few weeks, I've definitely been what I think some people call a 'cake eater' or some such - I've been so unsure of what to do. I have vacillated between wanting to reconcile with my wife and wanting to just aim for an amicable divorce and see what could exist with the other woman. I know that I need to make a decision and commit, and I did. I have committed to reconciling with my wife - but is that possible? Has anyone else been through something similar and had it be successful? I mean, this is going to mean falling back in love and finding that happiness that I know we once had - is that something that I can do? Right now, with just having ended the other relationship, I'm really feeling down and depressed about that and of course, nothing feels good or happy or positive. Please forgive my wall of text. Thanks.

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