We only have sex on his terms.

Hubby and I have been together for 7 years, married for 2. We have always felt extremely fortunate to have eachother. We're best friends, and frankly, we have pretty mind blowing sex on a regular basis. There's a bit of an age difference - he's 41 and I'm 27. For the majority of our relationship, we were both on the same page as far as sex was concerned. All that either of us had to do was say the word and we'd be between the sheets instantly. These days, we're still having sex pretty much daily (he's working long hours so it's usually just a quicky through the week, and we make up for it on the weekends).... The problem is, I don't get to initiate anymore. We only have sex when HE wants to have sex. It's like I can't get him to acknowledge my arousal anymore. Last night for instance: There's this tantric hand job thing that we do, and it blows his mind everytime, so he had asked me to do it, and of course i obliged. It's incredibly arousing to do this to him, but it's all about him. He doesn't touch me during this act, and in the end, he's the only one who achieves an orgasm. When we were finished, I explained how turned on I was, and how he was going to have to return the favor before the night was through. I gave him some time to recover, and then i hopped in the tub, shaved everything, freshened up, and put on my sexiest lingere. I laid beside him on the couch, started kissing him, and he just kept watching television. I put my hand down his pants and started massaging, and... he keeps watching television. I say "i want to have sex... now" and he just gives me a peck on the cheek and keeps watching TV.......I'm extremely persistant. Then the phone rings. It's a friend he hasn't heard from in a while... I understand he needs to talk, so I stay patient, and flirt with him while he chats... sucking on his fingers and touching myself etc........And i SWEAR the man is oblivious to my efforts. I don't know if all women experience this.. but when I am extremely aroused, there is a window of opportunity. He chatted with his friend for an hour and a half!!!!!! By the time he got off the phone, I was no longer horny, I was angry. I went to bed mad, and he has no idea why. Does anybody out there feel my frustration?! It's not the first time something like this has happened to me - It's becoming a bit of a pattern. That's why I signed up to this forum, to get advice. This morning I wrote him a letter, very bluntly stating my issues. I really want to give it to him, but I Know that he will be extremely embarassed, and have very hurt feelings. What should I do?

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