She says it's fine; but i still hate myself - how to stop?

OK well lets just say i met a fresher at the beginning of the year and things escatalted very quickly, she developed feelings for me (i know, cos she told me) but i didn't see them, now she dating someone else and i'm hating myself for what could have been, and she says she's fine with what happened between us (she and i would have been cute / good together according to many third parties telling me), she has said that if/when she becomes single that me and her getting together isn't totally out of the question, but until then i am filled with Jealously (and all the thigns that come with it) and self hatrid for not seeing the signs (which looking back i'm now thinking, "how the hell could i miss that") i don't like being jealous and hating myself, what i wanna know is how to stop the self-hating i seem to be doing (the advice from my counciler doesn't really seem to help, i tell myself that i wasn't leading her on (which is what i feel like i was doing) and that she wasn't making her intentions fully clear), so any suggestions would be a welcome hand, over the past few weeks i've noticed that (as long as i don't drink too much alcohol) i can look past these feelings and have a good time, but it's the inbetween parts which get me, like sitting at home at the end of the day for example We are still talking every day and i am still flirting with her loads :P

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