| I'm a mess, she's gone and I'm alone. I never cry I haven't cried in years now I cry everyday and I cry alone. I'm all by myself and at my age it's scary. We're both in our fifty's. We've been together 5 years. She has been married twice before and lived with a couple other guys and me once before and lived with a couple of other women we both have grown children from other relationships. We are both grandparents I don't know what happened. About a month ago she got very distant and wouldn't talk to me so I gave her her space until I finally asked if she would ever talk to me again she just shrugged. She did sit down to talk to me but she was cold and unfeeling. I told her I'm not sure what is happening but I know it's serious. She said it's what you wanted, I didn't understand at 1st , then she said I would complain I was always walking on egg shells. True because it seemed everything I said or did was criticized. I was also upset because the house was a mess and she would keep filling it with junk even when my son came over he commented "it's getting hard to move in here dad" The house is mine I worked hard to own a home and found it difficult to see it turning into a storage shed and I told her this spring I was doing a major clean up and I must hit a nerve. She said I don't listen and said I should look at her side. She was right because now she's gone She is on disability and takes hard core pain killers including Oxycontin and smokes pot every night for the pain. She also suffers from depression. Her past relationships were physically and emotionally abusive. She was also abused sexually as a child. Despite all of this I love her and miss her terribly I want her back. I have never cheated or raised a hand to her and gave her everything she asked for and more. I really thought I was a good partner and her family liked me and I liked them. When we 1st got together she showed concern about my drinking. I drink only beer but a good 70 bottles a week. She was right of course and I slowly dropped down to 50, 40 to a dozen a week I did this over the course of 5 years and I don't think she has noticed how much I've cut back. I think that 12 beer a week is OK but maybe I'll give it up for good and if needed I'll go to AA. I know too much booze can make depression worse so I'm going to be careful. I look around and it's like a nightmare. I came home from work and she and everything she owns and a few of my possessions are gone. I'm in shock I don't know what to do, I'm so scared and I ignored the warning signs. I'm very depressed, people my age are suppose to have lived and been done with all this emotional crap. I don't have anyone to talk to ...I'm so scared. She left 3 days ago. I believe she is staying with family but I have not attempted to contact her or any of her family. I don't believe I would get anywhere if I did. Please help I don't know what to do Thanks very kindly Pops | |||
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