Rules of seperation by JCD

One: The one who throws the other one out has the responsibility to outline the procedures for the other to return or to highlight to the cast out spouse when they are allowed to ask for a return. YOU threw him out. Two: As the spouse throwing out the other person, you have two months to outline your long term intentions. After that, the other spouse has to assume divorce...and is free to act accordingly. Three: The rules of contact are entirely up to the spouse who threw the other spouse out. You can say a call a week...or daily calls...or only texts and the cast out spouse should respect that except for emergencies...BUT...don't be surprised if the do not take advantage of every call they are 'allowed'. YOU rejected THEM. Seperation is a huge hurdle of communication...and it's unlikely to get BETTER Four: If you reject your spouse with a seperation, you are essentially removing yourself from influencing them. You can HOPE you retain the same influence, but their schedule outside of the kids is entirely up to them now. You are free to approve or disapprove, but if you REALLY wanted some control, you'd have them home. Don't expect them to gleefully share their schedules, hopes and dreams. Five: If you expect the sepearation to be a punishment, expect to be resented and expect it not to work. There is nothing so...maddening as to throw someone out, and shorn of the majority of their responsibilities, see them enjoy life more. I am not going to hustle my ass home for a 'honey do' list for a person who rejected me unless I am REALLY commited and feel very much at fault. Six: If you even breath the word 'divorce' don't expect the spouse to pine whistfully for more than a month or two. *** Discuss, tear apart or make your own.

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