| So about two months ago, I broke up with my longtime girlfriend because she'd been cheating on me. The entire debacle is available here if you'd like to know it. At first I was angry and upset and sort of powered through the break-up phase with sheer determination and a refusal to be weak and give in to her and take her back. My ex has pretty much called/Skyped/IChat'ed/Facebooked/Emailed me every day since she went back to New York. A couple of weeks or so ago, the daily communication attempts went down to once every few days. This entire week I haven't received any kind of contact from her. At first, I was relieved, I mean I wanted her to leave me alone and let me move on - at least that's what I told myself after Day 3 of no communication. Today's Day 7 and I am miserable. It's not like I've been sitting and feeling sorry for myself, I go out, clubbing, etc. I've had a few one night stands in the past month. None of these things is even remotely fulfilling. I retreated to my books and have been going out with friends practically every day to keep myself occupied, but I keep thinking about her. I'm trying so hard to forget her and immerse myself in university and work, but no matter what, she's just always at the back of my mind. It's gotten to the point where I wake up every morning after having the most vivid dreams about her. I rarely remember my dreams, but lately they're clear, memorable and she stars in all of them. I can't and won't forgive her for what she did to me. But that still doesn't erase the fact that I love her. When does it get easier? PS: Sorry for the rant. Just had to get that off my chest. | |||
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