My wife and I have been married for 15 years and we have 4 children, We have not had the dream perfect marriage but we have made things work. We have 2 children who have some spectrum issues and 2 rather "normal" children. the issue at hand is intamacy or rather lack of it. I completely understand with 4 children it is really difficult to find time but it really isn't the time it is more the desire. Let me back track a moment. We met in college and I fell in love at first sight then when we got to know each other more the feeling was stronger. I have always been completely in love and physically attracted to my wife through preganacies and moods I have always still seen my wife as the most beautiful woman in the world and to this moment I still feel that way. I am and have always been attracted to her. I have always had a feeling that the reverse was not true of her. As the years of our marriage went on the intimacy was less and less and in the past 7 years it has been next to none. As far as me I am a good father and husband in very good shape but I don't think that is it. I just feel like she has never really been that attracts to me. I think the fact that I have always been nice and loving was more important but a physical relationship is also huge in a relationship. I am left feeling horrible pretty much everyday. Not having intimacy is huge but knowing that the person who you are attracted to does not feel the same way is almost worse. I am at a crossroads of seriously having a talk about divorce. I just want to be with someone who feels for method same way I feel for her. Every time we talk about it there is always something else we decide could b the problem but honestly after years and knowledge I think my first instinct so many years ago was the right now. Now what? I live everyday in pain and feeling like there is a huge whole in my life. We could stay married forever and I don't want to leave h er but I also want a complete relationship I can't stand not "feeling" anymore. I have no idea what to think but I thought I would at least get advice from other.
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