I didn't want to threadjack the facebook use thread, although this situation has some similarities. I am actually in the process of framing a discussion to have with my husband.
While he was in between jobs (having a lot of down time) he's been playing an online game. His computer time has increased a lot, he's spent extra money on the game (probably hoping that I wasn't aware, but that's just speculation), he's even set an alarm at night to wake up 2-4 hours after we go to sleep to tend to the game.
My situation differs in that I do still get a significant amount of my husband's undivided attention and our intimacy has not been adversely affected. But left unchecked (or if I don't advocate for myself) I fear I may be where the gentleman is whose wife is on FB a lot.
While I understand the enjoyment of that activity, and do not want to say "all or nothing", I want to come to a mutual agreement that we are both happy with.
I was thinking of bringing up the following points:
- I do not want to take away the game entirely. What can we do to make this enjoyable for both of us?
- Play the game together as a team?
- If this is your way to decompress alone, can we at least establish some parameters (frequency and duration of play)?
- I am aware of the extra money spent. I would like transparency with regard to the purchases (please tell me directly...having me "discover" these expenditures feels less than honest).
-we usually have a designated "non-technology day" for the kids on the weekend...how do we fit this game in to that paradigm?
I'm looking for some objective feedback so the I advocate fro what I need but don't over-manage it to the point of coming across as his mother.
While he was in between jobs (having a lot of down time) he's been playing an online game. His computer time has increased a lot, he's spent extra money on the game (probably hoping that I wasn't aware, but that's just speculation), he's even set an alarm at night to wake up 2-4 hours after we go to sleep to tend to the game.
My situation differs in that I do still get a significant amount of my husband's undivided attention and our intimacy has not been adversely affected. But left unchecked (or if I don't advocate for myself) I fear I may be where the gentleman is whose wife is on FB a lot.
While I understand the enjoyment of that activity, and do not want to say "all or nothing", I want to come to a mutual agreement that we are both happy with.
I was thinking of bringing up the following points:
- I do not want to take away the game entirely. What can we do to make this enjoyable for both of us?
- Play the game together as a team?
- If this is your way to decompress alone, can we at least establish some parameters (frequency and duration of play)?
- I am aware of the extra money spent. I would like transparency with regard to the purchases (please tell me directly...having me "discover" these expenditures feels less than honest).
-we usually have a designated "non-technology day" for the kids on the weekend...how do we fit this game in to that paradigm?
I'm looking for some objective feedback so the I advocate fro what I need but don't over-manage it to the point of coming across as his mother.
Put the internet to work for you.
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