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What can I expect to happen in a divorce?

I am looking for information from people who have been down the road of divorce and can possible provide some info about what I can expect to have happen.
Our marriage is over and a divorce is inevitable (he seems oblivious to this fact), however, timing of when has everything to do with what will be best for the children (2 kids under the age of 5).
At the beginning of this month, I was ready to file, then we discovered our home is the cause of our health problems and we are all in agreement that we must move as soon as possible. We are looking at homes to purchase, but it is an odd position to be in.
Someone pointed out it is a lot to not only disrupt the children's life with a move, but also to also take away dad living in the house. To stay together means them seeing parents that are far less than ideal role models as partners.
I need to decide if we buy a home as a family or if I file for divorce and buy a home on my own. What can I expect to happen with regard to child support and money division? How do women often stay in their homes after a divorce, when the mortgage is so much on their own?
Any info would be greatly appreciated!

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