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Why is it common for men to not realize wife is cheating?

I am wondering if there is something in our biological make up that makes us "not believe" or notice our wife is having an affair. Or is it societal, with us believing "No way, women do not cheat like men"? Or something different?

I ask because I went through this, and looking back ignored or excused the red flags. I also notice on this site, when men come here to ask for advice, they also are often times adamant that "My wife isn't cheating", although she exhibits every single characteristic, and then later they find 100% proof.

Secondly, how did most of you men (or women) trust again? Did you tell your new partner what happened? If for example, your new partner is on Facebook often, or needs to fly out of town, or little things don't add up, are you much quicker to assume cheating?

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