This is not about how women dress. It is not about how women act!
I want to stress that from the start.
In another thread, questions got raised about rape and child rearing (this is me being diplomatic)
The women didn't really seem to have an 'answer' to rape except a) wait for men to change, b) try to draft questionable legislation and c) act in a terribly paranoid way around men.
This seems counter productive.
Instead of waiting for men, or actually tinkering with civil rights, what can women do?
More importantly, what can I teach my daughters?
I am no expert, but I spent a few minutes thinking about rape. About how men think. About what the tactics of a potential rapist might be. So if this seems repetitive, or something someone else thought of or taught, well...I never took an anti rape course. Forgive me for wasting your time.
There seems to be three kinds of 'rape' approaches. This is only a potential answer for one.
The three types are
Stranger Rape: small numbers
Party Rape: small numbers
Trusted Friend/Authority Figure Rape. (if you have more, shout them out)
By far, the largest is some guy who knows the girl, who thinks she might be 'open to it' (having read too much Penthouse Letters, perhaps) and makes a hard pass which escalates...or just wants to flat out rape her.
It is not good for women to never trust a man ever for a variety of ways. But we need a signal which may warn a girl.
I think I have it in one phrase (though there are no doubt variations)
"Hey (insert name here), I need to talk to you alone a minute/show you something/ can you come into my office after work.
Because a rapist wants isolation. This is not to say that the obvious answer is to immediately punch him in the nose and run screaming. Obviously 95% of the time, it is on the up and up.
But that one phrase should escalate her awareness level.
So...what is a suitable response?
"How about there?" Audibly isolated area but still in public
Troubling answer: "No, it needs to be somewhere else."
Female Response: "Why?"
Vague answers are not exactly good news here.
Other tactics she can use:
"Shelly, come with us", or, phone call "Shelly, I am with BRAD MYER. I'll call you in 15 minutes." or even 'I'm busy. There is good. Or you can tell me what it's about or do it later." He is now on the spot as 'the last person seen with her'. That is likely to forestall any number of rapes right there! It provides a witness, if even at a remove.
At this point, the male acting frustrated is not great news, but it is not bad news either. Maybe Brad is just going to make a pass. You now have a heads up on if and how to address that.
But the most important thing is that IF things get rough, she has a touch of warning instead of surprise hitting her out of the clear blue. That makes a huge difference between mindless panic and reasoned fear.
This does not address every rape, but provides a tool to analyze a situation.
Discuss and correct me on how it could be better or how I might be wrong.
This is me trying to find a way to teach my daughters.
I want to stress that from the start.
In another thread, questions got raised about rape and child rearing (this is me being diplomatic)
The women didn't really seem to have an 'answer' to rape except a) wait for men to change, b) try to draft questionable legislation and c) act in a terribly paranoid way around men.
This seems counter productive.
Instead of waiting for men, or actually tinkering with civil rights, what can women do?
More importantly, what can I teach my daughters?
I am no expert, but I spent a few minutes thinking about rape. About how men think. About what the tactics of a potential rapist might be. So if this seems repetitive, or something someone else thought of or taught, well...I never took an anti rape course. Forgive me for wasting your time.
There seems to be three kinds of 'rape' approaches. This is only a potential answer for one.
The three types are
Stranger Rape: small numbers
Party Rape: small numbers
Trusted Friend/Authority Figure Rape. (if you have more, shout them out)
By far, the largest is some guy who knows the girl, who thinks she might be 'open to it' (having read too much Penthouse Letters, perhaps) and makes a hard pass which escalates...or just wants to flat out rape her.
It is not good for women to never trust a man ever for a variety of ways. But we need a signal which may warn a girl.
I think I have it in one phrase (though there are no doubt variations)
"Hey (insert name here), I need to talk to you alone a minute/show you something/ can you come into my office after work.
Because a rapist wants isolation. This is not to say that the obvious answer is to immediately punch him in the nose and run screaming. Obviously 95% of the time, it is on the up and up.
But that one phrase should escalate her awareness level.
So...what is a suitable response?
"How about there?" Audibly isolated area but still in public
Troubling answer: "No, it needs to be somewhere else."
Female Response: "Why?"
Vague answers are not exactly good news here.
Other tactics she can use:
"Shelly, come with us", or, phone call "Shelly, I am with BRAD MYER. I'll call you in 15 minutes." or even 'I'm busy. There is good. Or you can tell me what it's about or do it later." He is now on the spot as 'the last person seen with her'. That is likely to forestall any number of rapes right there! It provides a witness, if even at a remove.
At this point, the male acting frustrated is not great news, but it is not bad news either. Maybe Brad is just going to make a pass. You now have a heads up on if and how to address that.
But the most important thing is that IF things get rough, she has a touch of warning instead of surprise hitting her out of the clear blue. That makes a huge difference between mindless panic and reasoned fear.
This does not address every rape, but provides a tool to analyze a situation.
Discuss and correct me on how it could be better or how I might be wrong.
This is me trying to find a way to teach my daughters.
Put the internet to work for you.
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