My husband is at the very least having an emotional affair, but won't fess up to it. I saw a number all over our phone bill after I got suspicious (emotional withdrawal, no interest in sex, phone always on him, etc etc). I confronted him and he said he reconnected with an old friend and she was asking for advice about her own 8 year relationship that is not yet headed to marriage - I call BULL****.
So, I got nowhere, and now am trying to figure out how to prove that I'm not crazy. So that's the first thing I'm looking for. How can I verify he's talking to someone? Reminder - phone is ALWAYS with him and is password protected so I can't look there.
When I ask him why he's unhappy, he says he doesn't know. He has battled with depression, so I know that's always something we're up against. However, I feel like this time he's depressed because he's stuck with me but wants someone else (we have a 16mo old so I think he wants to stay to see her everyday). I asked if he's restless - because we run a marathon of the same routine all week and then we run errands and do family stuff on weekends. He said that could be it too, we're basically either at work or at home and always together. He goes to the gym at night occasionally.
I sent him away for a few days so he could get a chance to clear his mind, but also to see what life would be like if he were only able to come home in the morning to get our daughter dressed then come back and see her before bed. It seemed to work a bit, but I looked at the phone records and days later he was on the phone with the same girl for 40 mins.
When I first confronted him about the phone bill, he got VERY upset and yelled at me. Saying he's going to get me off the phone plan, I'm crazy, this is nuts, this is not worth it,etc etc. I've read that cheating spouses do that - make the other partner feel like they're losing their marbles. That true?
When I brought up a couple other lies I caught him in, he stood up and got very aggressive with me. Even spit my direction a few times and threw our wedding picture out in the street (thankfully our daughter was asleep, we don't fight in front of her).
He's an awesome father, he's very attentive, helpful and playful when it comes to her. But with me...nothing. I love him, I would like it to work but I don't trust him right now....
My issues are these...
-How do I know he's for sure cheating? I need proof to feel at peace if I walk away
-Is there something I can do to save this marriage?
So, I got nowhere, and now am trying to figure out how to prove that I'm not crazy. So that's the first thing I'm looking for. How can I verify he's talking to someone? Reminder - phone is ALWAYS with him and is password protected so I can't look there.
When I ask him why he's unhappy, he says he doesn't know. He has battled with depression, so I know that's always something we're up against. However, I feel like this time he's depressed because he's stuck with me but wants someone else (we have a 16mo old so I think he wants to stay to see her everyday). I asked if he's restless - because we run a marathon of the same routine all week and then we run errands and do family stuff on weekends. He said that could be it too, we're basically either at work or at home and always together. He goes to the gym at night occasionally.
I sent him away for a few days so he could get a chance to clear his mind, but also to see what life would be like if he were only able to come home in the morning to get our daughter dressed then come back and see her before bed. It seemed to work a bit, but I looked at the phone records and days later he was on the phone with the same girl for 40 mins.
When I first confronted him about the phone bill, he got VERY upset and yelled at me. Saying he's going to get me off the phone plan, I'm crazy, this is nuts, this is not worth it,etc etc. I've read that cheating spouses do that - make the other partner feel like they're losing their marbles. That true?
When I brought up a couple other lies I caught him in, he stood up and got very aggressive with me. Even spit my direction a few times and threw our wedding picture out in the street (thankfully our daughter was asleep, we don't fight in front of her).
He's an awesome father, he's very attentive, helpful and playful when it comes to her. But with me...nothing. I love him, I would like it to work but I don't trust him right now....
My issues are these...
-How do I know he's for sure cheating? I need proof to feel at peace if I walk away
-Is there something I can do to save this marriage?
Put the internet to work for you.
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