My husband and I have been together for 8 years, married for 2. He was my everything and for the most part we have had a great relationship. The type of relationship that everyone around us admired. Over the last few years things slowly started to get worse. He had changed and he began to ignore me and became disinterested. Everything in our life began to suffer, from the great friendship we had to our sex life it has not been the same. He got lazy and addicted to online games. I continued to go to school and advance my career, while he worked a dead end job and did whatever he wanted.
Last year I caught an older women he use to work with hitting on him through Facebook and I saw he was trying to deleted the messages. When I confronted him about he admitted she had been hitting on him and he was hiding it because they were just friends and he didn't want me to get the wrong idea. I saw how they were talking, and he was just being friendly and helping her out with her problems but she obviously liked him. We had a huge fight and he emotionally shut down from me. He just said he would stop being friends with her and then became more and more emotionally distant. I went through some very big hardships after that involving a neighborhood who was sexually harassing me, a change in jobs, and had to move two times. He was not very supportive during this time, but things eventually began to get better.
A few months ago I was begging to feel unsatisfied with our relationship again. I went through the trash on his computer, and found two pictures of that older women in her bra dated and deleted last year. He told me that a few weeks after I told him to stop talking her they began to talk again through email this time. He said he felt like he was afraid to talk to our other friends and family about our problems so he told her what happened. He started to help her with her relationship problems because it made him feel good to help her, but then she started hitting on him again. She sent the pictures to him randomly, and he soon after told her to stop talking to him as that was not the kind of relationship he was wanted as he thought they were just friends.
My husband is very young and is very impulsive. He told me saved the pictures on impulse because it boosted his low self esteem at the time, but then deleted them soon after. I believe him when he says that he was not attracted to her nor was he trying to flirt with her. She is defiantly not his type, and I saw the way he spoke to her previously and it was similar to how he speaks to all our friends. He came clean to be about a lot of other lies over the year, involving jobs and finances. He told me he was afraid to tell me any of this, as he thought he could handle it on his own and because I have an explosive temper.
He promised to change for me and has. He enrolled back into school, quit all of his online games, and has been super attentive to me. We both have started individual as well as marriage counseling. Even our sex life is the best it has ever been. However I am still struggling.
In his guilt he told a good amount of our friends and family, and I am utterly embarrassed by this. He thought it was his way of taking all of the blame, but really it has just made me feel shameful. I have also had a long term long distant friend, who helped me greatly through this time, and I am starting to worry that I am having feelings for him.
I'm feeling very confused on what I should do at this point. I still love my husband and can understand and forgive what happened, but I'm still so embarrassed and hurt. I have made some mistakes in relationship too when we were younger, but he has always forgiven me so easily. I just feel like maybe this other man could treat me better, but how can I throw away my life with my husband and our future when he is doing everything he can to save us? I need advice. Thank you...
Last year I caught an older women he use to work with hitting on him through Facebook and I saw he was trying to deleted the messages. When I confronted him about he admitted she had been hitting on him and he was hiding it because they were just friends and he didn't want me to get the wrong idea. I saw how they were talking, and he was just being friendly and helping her out with her problems but she obviously liked him. We had a huge fight and he emotionally shut down from me. He just said he would stop being friends with her and then became more and more emotionally distant. I went through some very big hardships after that involving a neighborhood who was sexually harassing me, a change in jobs, and had to move two times. He was not very supportive during this time, but things eventually began to get better.
A few months ago I was begging to feel unsatisfied with our relationship again. I went through the trash on his computer, and found two pictures of that older women in her bra dated and deleted last year. He told me that a few weeks after I told him to stop talking her they began to talk again through email this time. He said he felt like he was afraid to talk to our other friends and family about our problems so he told her what happened. He started to help her with her relationship problems because it made him feel good to help her, but then she started hitting on him again. She sent the pictures to him randomly, and he soon after told her to stop talking to him as that was not the kind of relationship he was wanted as he thought they were just friends.
My husband is very young and is very impulsive. He told me saved the pictures on impulse because it boosted his low self esteem at the time, but then deleted them soon after. I believe him when he says that he was not attracted to her nor was he trying to flirt with her. She is defiantly not his type, and I saw the way he spoke to her previously and it was similar to how he speaks to all our friends. He came clean to be about a lot of other lies over the year, involving jobs and finances. He told me he was afraid to tell me any of this, as he thought he could handle it on his own and because I have an explosive temper.
He promised to change for me and has. He enrolled back into school, quit all of his online games, and has been super attentive to me. We both have started individual as well as marriage counseling. Even our sex life is the best it has ever been. However I am still struggling.
In his guilt he told a good amount of our friends and family, and I am utterly embarrassed by this. He thought it was his way of taking all of the blame, but really it has just made me feel shameful. I have also had a long term long distant friend, who helped me greatly through this time, and I am starting to worry that I am having feelings for him.
I'm feeling very confused on what I should do at this point. I still love my husband and can understand and forgive what happened, but I'm still so embarrassed and hurt. I have made some mistakes in relationship too when we were younger, but he has always forgiven me so easily. I just feel like maybe this other man could treat me better, but how can I throw away my life with my husband and our future when he is doing everything he can to save us? I need advice. Thank you...
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