Should I be worried that my wife of 5 years is deleting messages on Face

I originally posted this in Reddit and multiple people have advised me to also post this here. The original reddit post can be found at Should I [36 M] be worried that my wife[34 F] of 5 years is deleting messages on Facebook from one particular guy and no one else? : relationships

-----------------------------

My wife was involved in an emotional affair about 2 years ago. My suspicion radar was on the extreme at the time and I eventually caught her in the act of talking with the other guy on Facebook. We had a very rough period after that but have moved beyond it.
Recently however, I noticed there is a particular guy that she is deleting all messages from when she talks to him on Facebook and it's only this guy. I caught her doing this quite by accident the first time, but I since have been able to see her doing it time and again consistently. Here are the reasons I am questioning it though:

1. My radar isn't going off like it was the first time... I don't feel like there is any kind of cheating.. but this is suspicious. I think if she hadn't cheated in the past I seriously wouldn't give this anymore thought beyond thinking it was a little weird.
2. The bits of conversation I have caught seem harmless, not even overly flirty (at least for her part), but I have only caught very small glimpses.
3. I don't really know when she would be doing anything with this guy so there doesn't' seem to be vague explanations of time spent away like there was with the previous guy.
4. She could be lying completely when she says she is going out with certain friends, but that would be very risky since I know all her friends fairly well.
5. She doesn't sneak away and answer responses when they do come in or take the phone to bed with her to respond to messages like she did the other guy.
6. There was an incident involving this guy about 7 years ago, before we were married but living together, where she more or less disappeared for a night with no explanation and got me and her family crazy worried. She didn't come home from work that night like she usually does. I found her car sitting unmoved in the work parking lot almost 7 hours after she gets out of work and kind of freaked thinking something may have happened to her since it was so unlike her to just disappear without even a phone call. I contacted her mother to see if they had any idea where she was and they had not heard from her either and also got worried. So her family and I searched around trying to find her till we finally came home and found her lying in bed, kind of drunk. I still never got a full explanation of that night except that she went out for a few drinks with this guy. I didn't think she had cheating tendencies at the time so I was only mad at her for getting me worried and just told her that it was also not cool to go out with a guy like that and not give me a heads up... though I never thought she would do anything at the time, I thought a little courtesy heads up would have been nice.

As to how I see these conversations... I know the pass though she doesn't know that I do. I don't sit there and actively monitor the conversations and I feel wrong for doing this still, but my trust has not fully recovered from the incident a few years ago. I haven't logged in to monitor who she was talking to since the last incident until just recently when my suspicions were raised about deleting all correspondence from this guy.

tl;dr: My wife, who has been involved in an emotional affair in the past, is deleting Facebook messages from a particular guy and nobody else from what I can see.

Put the internet to work for you.

Turn off or edit this Recipe