I'm in the process of learning all I can before I drop the D bomb. I believe the problems our marriage has is more than can be repaired. I finally got H into IC to work on his issues. I have no faith he's actually telling the truth in there tho. I'm fixing a few things around the house, I have an appraisal coming, I have appts set with my IC and an attorney. All that to say I'm moving forward to the people who have travelled this journey with me. I know it's taken me a long time to get here. Right now, he knows I have one foot out the door but not that I'm planning.
Two weeks ago I took us away, out of town. Just us for the first time since our 3 year old was born. I wanted to see if we could still even have fun together anymore. We drove, and the first conversation was him grilling me on what my dr has said re my perimenopause. I explained a few things to him. "Oooooooohhhhhhh, that makes so much sense as to why you're so unreasonable these last couple years". No, I have not been unreasonable, nor have I been in p-menopause for that long. "Well it sure makes a lot of sense why you find fault in every thing I do. Don't you think that's the reason we've been having such bad troubles?" No. I think there are many factors contributing to our problems stemming from both of us. Do I think my menopause is the sole reason? Absolutely not. Do I think it has contributed to how I've handled the problems THAT WERE ALL READY THERE, certainly! Menopause is not our problem tho.
We ended up having an ok getaway after that conversation. Since we've been home it's back to normal....I'm putting the kids to bed when he said he would, he caught a stuffy nose (seriously!!!) and called out sick for 4 days. He made a huge point that this weekend was to be family weekend...no kids activities, no dog training appts, etc...just family. All day Saturday he stayed in his man cave watching movies while me & the girls played. Sunday he didn't even go to church with us, but wouldn't tell me that, he simply never got ready. We got home from church and he went for a hike.
I'm not exaggerating when I say he's not speaking to me. If I ask him a direct question he will grunt.
Which leads me to why I came back to TAM tonight....why in the world did he want to screw me tonight? I walked in the door from dog training class & he walked out for a run. I was trying to get my daughters to bed when he came back but he went straight to bed (at 8pm). After an hour of the house being settled he comes walking into the living room, grabs my hand & pulls me to the bedroom. All I want to do is say....'you don't speak to me for over a week, you don't acknowledge me unless I'm in your way, you plan family time but then disappoint the girls because you hide away and NOW you want me to f*ck you????'
I wish I had said that. I just didn't have it in me to lose 1/2 a night sleep from the fight that would have ensued.
I don't think it's the crazy menopausal b!tch thinking these things...although she comes out a lot lately!
I'm doing my research an setting my ducks in their rows. But in the mean time...
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Two weeks ago I took us away, out of town. Just us for the first time since our 3 year old was born. I wanted to see if we could still even have fun together anymore. We drove, and the first conversation was him grilling me on what my dr has said re my perimenopause. I explained a few things to him. "Oooooooohhhhhhh, that makes so much sense as to why you're so unreasonable these last couple years". No, I have not been unreasonable, nor have I been in p-menopause for that long. "Well it sure makes a lot of sense why you find fault in every thing I do. Don't you think that's the reason we've been having such bad troubles?" No. I think there are many factors contributing to our problems stemming from both of us. Do I think my menopause is the sole reason? Absolutely not. Do I think it has contributed to how I've handled the problems THAT WERE ALL READY THERE, certainly! Menopause is not our problem tho.
We ended up having an ok getaway after that conversation. Since we've been home it's back to normal....I'm putting the kids to bed when he said he would, he caught a stuffy nose (seriously!!!) and called out sick for 4 days. He made a huge point that this weekend was to be family weekend...no kids activities, no dog training appts, etc...just family. All day Saturday he stayed in his man cave watching movies while me & the girls played. Sunday he didn't even go to church with us, but wouldn't tell me that, he simply never got ready. We got home from church and he went for a hike.
I'm not exaggerating when I say he's not speaking to me. If I ask him a direct question he will grunt.
Which leads me to why I came back to TAM tonight....why in the world did he want to screw me tonight? I walked in the door from dog training class & he walked out for a run. I was trying to get my daughters to bed when he came back but he went straight to bed (at 8pm). After an hour of the house being settled he comes walking into the living room, grabs my hand & pulls me to the bedroom. All I want to do is say....'you don't speak to me for over a week, you don't acknowledge me unless I'm in your way, you plan family time but then disappoint the girls because you hide away and NOW you want me to f*ck you????'
I wish I had said that. I just didn't have it in me to lose 1/2 a night sleep from the fight that would have ensued.
I don't think it's the crazy menopausal b!tch thinking these things...although she comes out a lot lately!
I'm doing my research an setting my ducks in their rows. But in the mean time...
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