I can't even be bothered to explain everything. It would go on forever. Here is a basic overview:
- I struggle feeling attraction to anyone. I know I am capable of it. From age 4 - 13 I felt a strong sexual desire for both men and women. I didn't prefer a particular gender.
- Every man in my life has betrayed me.
- My father cheated on my mother with his addiction to porn, infidelity with co-workers and prostitutes. He was a successful man earning a significantly large income and spent a lot on the sex industry.
- My cousin raped me when I was 8.
- I was raped again after school when 17 by a middle aged man who was my neighbour. We weren't close but he was friends with my father.
- I can't even count the times I have been sexually assaulted. Eg: felt up against will, forced, stalked, cut, hit, bruised by male friends who seemed normal attractive australian men. these were smart men who study at prestigious universities.
- My first boyfriend was addicted to porn and emo tionally cheated on me with female friends of his. I developed serious trust issues and this is where my attraction to all men fell to an all time low
- Next boyfriend is perfect on paper, lovely guy aside from once again a hidden addiction to porn. The lot. Paid strippers, vid cams, paid websites, huge piles of magazines, files with his favs on tabs. You name it. Wouldn't spend money on me but confessed to paying a stripper $200 for 5 minutes. He later had images on facebook that were accidently taken while clubbing...Kissing a girl in the background.
- I now feel no desire for any man, woman or anyone.
- I have serious trust issues.
- I no longer believe in monogamy, honest partners and love. All I ever wanted was to place someone on a pedestal. To be loved and to be desired. Now I only desire money and success because at least it is something I can depend on.
Obviously there is a lot more hurt and cheating involved but that is the jist.
Also please don't tell me I dated jerks. I chose men who were initially lovely, caring, perfect, dorky nice guys. Not hot 9-10/10 jerks. These are educated, smart, guys in the 7-8/10 department.
I am also not considered ugly
Around 5'6, caucasian.
Slim at round 49kg, large breasts, 20yo.
Clear skin, perfect teeth, hourglass shape etc.
I also have my own goals while Studying medicine, unlike a lot of attractive girls who waste time trying to find a rich husband.
I can upload a picture if you need an idea.
Put the internet to work for you.
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