Hi all,
I'm in a predicament, and I know I'm responsible in digging my own hole, but it was initially because of my soft and weak nature.
I have known this guy for well over a year, we met on the internet (he is from the same town as me). We met up as friends, and got on really well. I could kind of tell he liked me more than a friend, but he never initially said anything although it was blatantly obvious.
I just want to point out, that I really do love this guy as a person, he is literally the male version of me. We both have the same dirty, wacky sense of humour and we share a lot of similar hobbies. I cannot imagine him not being a part of my life, as I really do value him as a person. But, because of my passive and soft nature, I kind of ended up in a 'relationship' with him. I'm kind of stuck because he genuinely dotes on me, but I'm battling with myself because on one hand I'm thinking this is the kind of nice guy that would never do me wrong, but on the other hand I don't feel a connection with him. I have always valued personality above everything else, in which he ticks every box, but in my previous relationships (very few) I have had at least some kind of physical attraction with them.
Things pretty much spiraled out of control. In the early days, we went out like any friends would do. We then started going to the cinema, going places to eat, to which I naturally saw it as hanging out. However, after each thing, he would refer to it as a 'date'. I kind of dismissed this, and you could say I continued to see if I could find myself attracted to him. I'm just so confused because I'm not sure what I feel.
The situation is heightened even more so because he has a very dark past - he used to self harm. His depression has recently reared itself and he is now on anti-depressants again. This obviously is another factor why I can't talk to him about us. It will simply make his current state worse and that's the last thing I want to do because I genuinely care for him.
I'm currently living a distance away so I won't see him till Christmas. I really don't know what to do. I know it will destroy him if I mention any of this to him, I'm just kicking myself because I should have been firm and said that we should stay friends, but he was constantly asking me to take things further and things kind of snowballed and got out of control. We also haven't had any kind of sexual relations either.
I'm scared that if I mentioned it he would do something silly, or we could never return to how we were before, as I couldn't imagine him not being a part of my life.
Any advice?
Put the internet to work for you.
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