Hi, lately my boyfriend (of one year) has been treating me less and less like a girlfriend. He is still affectionate when we are at my house, but anywhere else, it's like I don't exist as his girlfriend. Even when we are at mine (or his) I never feel like a girlfriend, I just feel like a friend. But he still doesn't talk to me the way I imagine a boyfriend talking to his girlfriend - he doesn't make jokes or try to make me laugh, he just wants to lay in bed all the time and not do anything at all. Honestly, the way the relationship is going is killing me. We used to be so different. We'd be all over each other and such, and I know the whole thing with the 'honeymoon period' but this lack of affection and it feeling like he barely loves me any more only disappeared in the last couple of months.
For the first month, I chalked it down to college starting back up and stress. So I was fine, I spoke to him and encouraged him to be more boyfriend-like. But then after a few more weeks, I brought it up and told him how I felt. He just got upset about me not feeling like he loved me and such and said he was sorry and that he'd start trying again. But it's been two or three months and it's killing me now.
Before anyone says anything, I'm not going to break up with him.
I'm trying my hardest to be nice all the time and not be clingy or pressuring him to be a boyfriend, but at the same time, I'm his bloody girlfriend. Not just his girlfriend when he wants me to be. And it's pissing me off and upsetting me. When I have brought it up, in the past, he's always said "I just don't know how to be a good boyfriend." and then "I'm sorry, I'll try harder" etc. But to be honest, that's not good enough in my books.
Anyway, my point is, it feels like everything we used to have, has vanished. And lately the relationship has felt like I'm doing more and trying more than he is.
How can I get him to see how I feel? If he turned around tomorrow and said he wanted to break up with me, fine. I'd be devastated but who wouldn't. But, I'm not breaking up with him as (as niave as it might be) I feel like we can get back to a 'normal' girlfriend-boyfriend thing.
I don't know what to do anymore?
-- I have mental health issues and my boyfriend knows about them. He's told me they are tough to deal with, but if he can't cope, I don't see why he hasn't broken up with me yet. And right now, since college is extremely stressful for me and difficult for me, I need my boyfriend to be my boyfriend and help me not lose my mind. I'm stressed, in pain (physical problems - going to the doctor tomorrow), I'm tired all the time and college is the worst place for me mentall.. and at the start of our relationship (for about 7 or 8 months) he was my literal rock, whenever I got upset or panicked, he was the only one who could calm me down.. and still is. Which is why I need him there for me.
Like I said, he has the choice to leave me, but unless he does, I need him to help me almost on a daily basis and if he can't handle it then maybe he shouldn't be with me. I don't want us to break up, but it's starting to feel like he doesn't want to be in this relationship anymore.
I really don't know what to do. It makes me so upset and on the verge of tears when I think about the whole scenario.. (Sorry for the essay)..
TLDR: I feel more like a friend than a girlfriend (in the sense that he almost avoids spending time with me) and I need my boyfriend to be there for me (mental health issues). How can I talk to him and get him to see how I feel about everything?
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