My WS cheated on me 3 years ago. It was a choice he made, thinking I would never find out. Somehow it was okay as long as I didn't know about it. Of course, once I did find out, then it was a "mistake" and he wanted to stay married to me. Ended the affair no contact, or so he says. Do I trust him? Of course not. For all I know, he still sees her.
My question is for anyone who has attempted reconciliation, when do you give up trying? He would like to rug sweep everything and pretend it never happened. Life goes on like normal. No harm, no foul. For me, it changed the way I see him, the way I think about him, the way I see marriage, the way I no longer trust a thing I hear, the way I feel worthless and duped by him, the way I do not want any part of showing this man what he used to have - unconditional, 100% love. He lost all of that the moment he decided she was worth having on the side, his little secret.
It has been 3 years and my feelings for him are exactly the same as the day I found out about his affair. Is the best thing to divorce and move on? If I feel this way still, will it ever change? I can't help how I feel. I go along in limbo, but feel like my marriage is dead. He acts as if nothing at all is wrong. We're still married, so all is good in his world. When do I know it's really over? We do have children, which is why I am still married. Guilt over being the one to pull the plug. :(
My question is for anyone who has attempted reconciliation, when do you give up trying? He would like to rug sweep everything and pretend it never happened. Life goes on like normal. No harm, no foul. For me, it changed the way I see him, the way I think about him, the way I see marriage, the way I no longer trust a thing I hear, the way I feel worthless and duped by him, the way I do not want any part of showing this man what he used to have - unconditional, 100% love. He lost all of that the moment he decided she was worth having on the side, his little secret.
It has been 3 years and my feelings for him are exactly the same as the day I found out about his affair. Is the best thing to divorce and move on? If I feel this way still, will it ever change? I can't help how I feel. I go along in limbo, but feel like my marriage is dead. He acts as if nothing at all is wrong. We're still married, so all is good in his world. When do I know it's really over? We do have children, which is why I am still married. Guilt over being the one to pull the plug. :(
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