Hi folks, and sorry for the long post.
I'll start this off with a bit of history. We've always been close, but three years ago I fancied this friend of mine but she then started going out with our other very close mutual friend (after I match made them) - thankfully a couple of months later I started seeing someone else and we went out happily for well over a year - but that's over now. And so is the relationship between the object of affections and our mutual friend.
Fast forwarding things to the not-so-distant past, me+close friend spent a lot of time together. I visited her at uni quite often (sometimes on the way back from my ex's uni dorm), we dined and went cinemas quite often when she was home, you know, boring friend things that friends do.
And now to the present! My mum died about two weeks ago now, and she came up with and arranged it so that we'd meet up and just do stuff together when she came back from placement in a foreign country.
Since I was kinda off my head and didn't know wtf to do, it ended up just being a generic eat-food-and-watch-film event, however, this day was kinda different.
I arrived at her house, and spent the usual fifteen minutes talking to her mum about politics or people's attitudes to work and how to defend ones self from the overly excitable family dog. She walked down the stairs talking to some guy, I'll anonymise him and name him "Steve".
I knew about Steve, she told me about him before, apparently the ex of one of her friends/flatmates at uni and they just started talking on Skype one day.
Anyway, Steve kept calling her up every five or so minutes. They had an argument you see, and he wasn't being particularly level headed about it. As an example, she told me that Steve had threatened suicide at one point during one of the calls where I was there, and he had went to a location where one could perform such an act with relative ease during the fifteen minutes he wasn't bombarding her with calls.
It wasn't until I asked her whether he was her stalker or her boyfriend, that she admitted that Steve was her boyfriend. Her FB profile still today is marked explicitly as 'single', she didn't tell me or mutual friend, nor did she let on during the previous three months that her and Steve were going out.
I don't think any of her other friends down here know about Steve, lol.
Anyway, I asked her why her profile was marked as single, she had replied with "oh, because I'm not sure if we'll still be together in the near distance future" or something like that.
And about the ex/mutual friend? He was working a couple of days ago, and he served her+boyf. She didn't introduce the mutual friend to the boyf, it was a case of "hi there" and then "bye" or something. And then as soon as they thought they were out of eyeshot of the ex/mutual friend, they were all lovey-dovey or something. The mutual friends' words there, not mine.
(since you've read down to here, congratulate yourself with a picture of an expensive super car!)
You're probably wondering, what on earth is this post about? Well, over the past couple of months since I split up from my ex-girlfriend, my feelings for her have come back, and I was thinking of telling her about it over dinner or something. But, as my mum had died a couple of days before, I held it off until I thought I was ready. In hindsight this chickening out had saved me a lot of bother.
Well, I'm confused on a couple of points here.
- First, I like her, but I can't really say anything as she's in a relationship. They're supposedly having problems so that's probably another reason on its own why I can't say anything.
- Secondly, why didn't she tell me/mutual friend about the BF? This is considering how she's told me pretty much everything else about her life, like the fact that she talks to Steve on a regular basis. In fact, she talks about people to me like I was there with her when she met them, or already know them or something.
Mutual friend and I are really confused about this, and when I told him pretty much the contents of this post, he was still confused. He even said to me last night that if I hadn't had told him about the new BF, he would have thought it was a family relation or something, seeing how she didn't tell him anything.
Now, I'm quite peeved, partly 'cos the woman I have the hots for is with another man (that, I can handle and have handled before), but I just dunno wtf the proper thing is to do. I can't exactly march up to her at mum's funeral tomorrow and say "oh, btw, despite the fact your mysterious boyf is waiting at your house, I like you!!!!11one" now, can I?
What would you do in this situation? If you know Jesus too (WTFWJD), I'd like to know his input as well. I've heard he's a pretty knowledgable person.
Thanks!
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