Hello, my name is Bill and I am hoping to get some opinions on some issues I am having in my marriage. I love my wife very much and we have a perfect marriage with the exception of a couple issues that we just cant seem to see eye to eye on. I am 38 and my wife is 41. I have 2 children who live with me part time. Her children are grown and on their own. I lost my job unexpectedly (nothing I did wrong, victim of circumstance) but before I lost my job, my wife and I had been building a home based business. We began by selling products online but it had a few spin offs that seemed to do really well. My wife continued selling products and I started doing graphic design and printing. When I was employed and even before my wife started selling online (with any significance financially), we lived on my income alone. She had moved back from florida and we decided she was going to be a housewife. Since I worked outside the home, she took care of the house work. Wh en I lost my job, we werent really making enough to replace my income but we decided to give it all we had and attempt to grow our business to a point where it would support us. As I said before, we were doing 2 different things but ultimately working toward one goal. We receive payments through our own respective paypal accounts. At one point, all the money we earned kind of went into one big pot but one day she had kind of a "my money, your money" attitude. I really didnt think much about it and just kind of let it go. That started a definitive separation of the funds and it just got worse from there. Now, I am finding myself paying all the bills and if I even think about her money being available to pay bills, she gets furious. It has now come to the point where she has told me "I will do whatever I want with the money I earn and I dont care what you think". One particular issue came about the other day when she decided to have a website built for her business. I built my website on my own because I couldnt afford to pay to have it done. She was totally against the website originally telling me I was wasting my time. Now that it is done, it is generating money daily. Not tons of money but definitely worth the time invested. Now that she sees this, she has found someone to build a website for her and is going to pay $400 to have it done. I know $400 is cheap to have a website built but I felt she should have offered to help me pay the bills that she sees me stressing out over getting the money together to pay. She took extreme offense to my way of thinking. Am I wrong for thinking this way? Are finances divided in most marriages? Do most husbands and wives have "My money" "Your money". And should one of the adults be responsible for all the bills while the other does whatever they want with their money? This is just one issue of a few we are having but the mindset she has on this is pretty much standard for anything else similar. Another issu e is that she speaks horribly to me, so mean and hateful. I brush most of it off but Im human. If I speak to her in the wrong tone or raise my voice at all she tells me "you need to lower your voice and watch your tone". Then later, because I may have raised my voice or gotten upset, she says I have no respect for her and treat her horribly. Just looking for another point of view.
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