Am I a Fool?

My husband and I have been married for 14 years and together for 17, we have two children and are happily married except for one thing...about 4 years ago my husband went to Vegas for a bachelor party and one of the nights he was there he got really, really drunk, him and buddy hopped in a cab and the cab driver offered to take them to a strip club so they went. When they got to the club they ended up in a private room (him in one and his buddy in a different one). My husband said that the stripper started dancing for him and then when the time was up asked if he wanted more time and before he knew if someone came in with some type of machine that took his credit card number and his thumb print and there ended up being $2500 in charges but he swears that nothing more than a lap dance happened. When he got home from Vegas he told me about it but it took a few rounds to get the "truth". The first couple versions he put the blame on the other guys that he wa s with and it took a bit to get to the final version of what he says in the truth.

I want to believe him, I really really do and we've even been to marriage counseling (it did help) but every once in a while something comes into my brain and I start doubting his story and I truly believe that more happened and he's not telling me.

He knows that if he ever cheats on me again I will leave him so I think that even if more did happen on this trip he's never going to own up to it because he knows I will be gone.

So I guess my question to you all is whether or not someone can go to a strip club in Vegas, go into a private room, spend $2,500 and only get a lap dance?

Does anyone have any experience in this type of situation?

Thanks everyone.

Put the internet to work for you.

Delete or edit this Recipe

Anyone see Silver Linings Playbook?

The guy comes home and catches his wife in the shower screwing a coworker of theirs and the OM says to him (in his own house/shower) "I think you should go." Then he does what he should have done, beats the guy within an inch of his life and then he's the monster who gets locked up.

My question to other BS's is did you think he did anything wrong? I didn't.

Put the internet to work for you.

Delete or edit this Recipe

Should I go full force with this or let him have what he wants?

I am divorcing my STBXH. I finally got the money. I can't afford more than like $700 or $800 though. I want this to go quickly so I can get away from him and I don't have to spend too much. However, uncontested is looking pretty grim right now.
He will only agree to:
Joint legal and physical custody, and if that isn't possible, he wants primary custody or isn't signing. He refuses to pay child support.
We don't have any assets or anything.
Alabama always leans heavily towards the mom when awarding custody.

My mom's friend says I should not agree to what he wants and I should pull out every ugly thing I have to get what I want, and that he should back down before we ever go to court. Here is what I have:

-He was very emotionally abusive. Why I left in the first place.
-I have screenshots of all the emails and ads he posted soliciting sex with men on Craigslist and inviting them to our apartment, giving them our address.
-I have a text with him admitting to touching and trying to rape me in my sleep.

My mom's friend thinks I should tell him that if he doesn't comply with what I want (to share physical custody but have primary legal custody and to receive child support since he has a job and I don't) that I should tell him I will file for him only getting her every other weekend supervised, child support, alimony, and that I will file charges for rape.

Also, tonight, him and a friend came over while I was alone to pick up some furniture. The friend had a concealed gun with him. When I saw it, they made jokes about killing me. STBX always joked about killing me during the marriage. Mom's friend says I should immediately file charges and go to an abuse home in the area and ask them for help with a divorce and tell them I am afraid for my life.

Can I get some advice?

Put the internet to work for you.

Delete or edit this Recipe

How bad were your wife's "pregnancy hormones"?

My wife has always been a little on the combative side, but man, lately we have some fights where I feel like I'm in the twilight zone. Trying to take it in stride -- did anyone else have similar experiences?

Put the internet to work for you.

Delete or edit this Recipe

Fellow BS's what are some gems that the WW/WH told you

A favorite of mine is when the ex said "I lied to you because I didn't want to hurt you. I'd never want to hurt you." So she didn't think F'ing a friend of mine wouldn't also hurt me?

Put the internet to work for you.

Delete or edit this Recipe

If your marriage was a game; which one would it be?

Any kind of game; cards, board game, video game, parlor game, party game, kids game (tag, etc.)

I'll go first: Double Solitaire.

ETA: Unless it's really obvious; please give a brief explanation of why your marriage/relationship was/is like that game.

Our marriage is like Double Solitaire because we were both kind of loners before we met each other. We have very different interests for the most part. But we check in with and share with each other as much as possible.

Put the internet to work for you.

Delete or edit this Recipe

"She'll never find out"

Just got to thinking. Have a co-worker who is a serial cheater. Never has long term affairs, and is not interested in anything but the sex. We've had talks, and I'm always telling him that one day his W is going to find out. "Impossible" he says..."I cover my tracks to well".

Makes me think of a friend of my W's. She had a one time thing years ago. Dude fell for her. He became a stalker type, and eventually threatened to out her to her H to split them up. She had to come clean to him before it happened.

Had a bud that had one. Zero sex for years, so he stepped out. She took a liking to him, and wanted him to leave his W, which he wasn't going to do. She feigned a pregnancy, until he advised her he's been snipped, and it couldn't be his. She responded by leaving a voicemail on his home phone, which his W got. He was busted.

What are some of the more "thought this was harmless, never saw this coming" type of ways you've seen people busted in an affair?
Posted via Mobile Device

Put the internet to work for you.

Delete or edit this Recipe

How to handle new relationships with children involved

My wife and I are separated (not divorced yet). We are living separate and each have our daughter half the week. We have been able to keep it amicable so far for the most part... until now.

I just found out she is seeing someone and while I don't necessarily have an issue with that, I have an issue with how the situation is being handled in regards to our daughter.

My daughter kept mentioning this guy's name and so I asked my wife who this guy was and she said a "friend". Then my daughter started expressing unhappiness with the situation and that's when I decided to look into it further.

Turns out the guy is not just a friend and is someone she is seeing, as my daughter has seen them displaying affection in front of her.

We agreed that we would keep new relationships separate from our daughter until it was somewhat serious. So, because this guy is around my daughter, I have to assume that it's somewhat serious.

I don't appreciate her lying to me, if we're supposed to be working together and keeping this amicable. Actually, the way I found out was that she asked me to watch our daughter so that she could go out on Valentine's Day with her "friend", which I though was really tacky.

I also found out she traveled out of the state with my daughter and this guy, and I wasn't informed about it.

And another thing, she wants to raise our daughter as a Christian, meanwhile she is seeing other men and displaying affection with them in front of her daughter - while still married - just doesn't seem like setting a good example.

So, my question is, do I have a right to know who a guy is if he's around my daughter? And if my daughter is expressing unhappiness about it, do I not have the right to find out why?

Because my wife seems to think I do not have the right.

Put the internet to work for you.

Delete or edit this Recipe

Feeling like a *****

So, I dated a man who turned out to be married. We split up.

I dated another man. He had a gf and I had no idea.

I am feeling remorse for both of these relationships.

Should I tell the wife and the gf of both of these pigs?

I have kept everything to myself but inside me I feel as if I should tell them both.

Opinions?

Put the internet to work for you.

Delete or edit this Recipe

Don't feel 'the spark' with someone over text. Will I in person?

• Thread Starter

Don't feel 'the spark' with someone over text. Will I in person?

• Follow
• 3 hours ago 3h ago

Hi,I've been talking to this girl via text for a while after meeting her online. We both agree that we haven't felt the spark. Do you think can feel the spark for someone via text or is a face to face meeting really needed to assess your physical attraction for each other?I like this girl so should I be worried, that I won't feel the spark then. We talk constantly and have a good banter. Should I be worried?Thoughts?

Put the internet to work for you.

Delete or edit this Recipe

Boyfriend called me by his ex's name !

• Thread Starter

Boyfriend called me by his ex's name !

• Follow
• 2 hours ago 2h ago

Thank you for reading, and any advice would really help.

Background on our relationship;

Ive been with my boyfriend for almost eight months now. He is 12 years older than me... He has a daughter with his ex - so obviously his ex is still a big part of his life. They broke up 3-4 years ago... she left him for another guy, he was heart broken ! Hes always there for his ex, too much so at times. He will change our plans if she calls and asks him for anything... this annoys me, but i can see why as he loves his little girl to bits and she is her mum.

But last night we were snuggled up in bed - and he called me her name, i was so shocked, I'm really not sure what to make of it. If they have not been together in that way for almost 4 years why would this be a slip of the tongue? Was he thinking about her while we were snuggled up ?? Is he still not over her?? Should i end things now before i allow myself to be hurt??

I would love to her your opinions on this. Thank You !

Put the internet to work for you.

Delete or edit this Recipe

do guy like "tomboy" girls?

• Thread Starter

do guy like "tomboy" girls?

• Follow
• 1 Hour Ago 1 hour ago

girls who play games, who join in on guy "banter", wear baggy tops with skinny jeans opposed to skirts and flowery stuff..wear makeup but not all dramatic eye liner and bright lips..natural hair but not styled with curlers or straighteners..
I know it's a matter of opinion but in general what are your opinions :)?

Put the internet to work for you.

Delete or edit this Recipe

Conversation Topics

• Thread Starter

Conversation Topics

• Follow
• 2 hours ago 2h ago

Im a very boring person who doesn't really get out too much. Henceforth im not very social...

When people text me, we have general small talk and then its the end of the conversation.

I've tried discussing current affairs but the convo's dead by then.

Please suggest ideas because im starting to look pathetic

Put the internet to work for you.

Delete or edit this Recipe

Banter with someone you like?! How do you do it?!

• Thread Starter

Banter with someone you like?! How do you do it?!

• Follow
• 54 minutes ago 54m ago

How do you have banter with someone you like, without being rude or cocky about it?!!

Thoughts?

Put the internet to work for you.

Delete or edit this Recipe

Does this mean anything?

• Thread Starter

Does this mean anything?

• Follow
• 53 minutes ago 53m ago

So this girl messaged me and the message said: 'Lovw o'. I just said what? and she said that she didnt mean to send me that and that it was just a 'random keyboard spasm'.

The message does however look like 'Love u' with w and o being next to e and u on the keyboard respectively. Does this mean anything?

Put the internet to work for you.

Delete or edit this Recipe