So me and my best friend talk a lot. Like a hell of a lot. It used to be just a few times in the evening, then we started texting each other and it became like a ritual to text each other like any time we had spare. Our texts would literally turn into essays, and before long he encouraged me to get Skype, where I've met some cool people and got a bit out of my shell.
The thing is, it wasn't until a couple of days ago that I realised that I may have really strong feelings for him. Seeing as we talk constantly, whether it be text, Skype or twitter, we are always in touch and it's only recently that I had the time to dwell on my apparent feelings for him.
This past month has been crazy. We've been talking more than anything and exchanging messages tenfold, and he's even been saying stuff that made me think he liked me considering he would tell me stuff like "I was his favorite person and he couldn't wait for me to visit, all his attention would be on me," and we'd constantly argue about who was the cutest or who was more amazing than who.
He would say things that were really sweet and heartwarming like I was the only person who made him smile this much and that he literally couldn't stop thinking about my visit and stuff and I guess it was only a few days ago before I realised I was also saying this stuff because I did in fact have the biggest feelings for him.
Well anyway, I spent the whole two days feeling really low and crappy, because I didn't want to screw up our friendship by having feelings for him as it means more to me than anything. my friend encouraged me to talk to him about it, and once I did I felt better, as I told him I liked him and such and he reassured me that we wouldn't lose each other as friends etc.
It occurred to me after that I never even knew if he had any feelings for me and that judging by the fact he never said he probably doesn't :( What's weird is that he seemed so overly enthusiastic about talking constantly to me (I literally can't go through all out convos but there was a lot of stuff that made me think he might have felt the same) and now I can't stop looking at old conversations and wishing he'd still be saying the sweet excited things he used to say.
What do you think happened? Did he just go off me or did I just read too much into it initially? He said I was the only person he'd text back straight away, that I was the only person he got excited talking to and that he craved my texts. He even got upset one night when he couldn't get home to spend time on Skype with me.
I literally don't know what to think, but I guess if he has no feelings like that for me I'd just like to know if there's an easy way of getting over him without losing the closeness we have as friends? (I love him dearly as a friend and he means the world to me)
TL;DR: I have really strong feelings for my best friend and though I would love if he felt the same I'm not even sure what he feels so id love to know how to maintain our close friendship without anything changing.
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