Is Resentment a stage like denial, anger, depression?

I've quite clearly felt myself progress through definite stages (e.g. anger or sadness( of processing my husband's betrayal. For the past couple weeks, I feel as if I've entered a stage of "resentment". Did any of you BSs experience resentment more pronounced at a particular time or is it a constant that just gets stronger? It's really bad. I'm starting to find my husband less attractive and more annoying (even though he is making serious efforts in our relationship). The resentment is great. Will it subside the same way the anger stage did? I can't believe how I went from adoring him to this. I hope it is a stage of this grief and misery.

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Picking up girls v2

Skip to below if you want to get right to me picking up girls Some of you may remember me from my previous thread about picking up girls. Essentially, I went out to the street and picked up girls for a few months. I did it about 20-24 times in total, only once or twice with a girl by her own. In the end I managed to solve my social anxiety/retardation, gained incredible amounts of confidence, no longer give a damn what others think of me, I am now able to carry myself well in the presence of girls (I'm no longer creepy or beta in the sense of being scared to do or say things). Probably the best thing about it is that it has envoked a huge sense of opportunism within me, getting **** done and doing things first and not thinking about social norms. I have no doubt this will help me hugely when I try to set up a business in University. If you want to come here and argue about whether picking up random girls is a good or bad thing you can leave now. I've learned arguing about this is the same as arguing about religion, i.e. pointless. The difference between the last thread and this one is that I am not going out consciously to pickup girls. I simply don't have the time. Instead, I've found that I'm fine with just seeing girls on the street, or at events/places I go to and approaching them there. Since my last thread I still haven't kissed a girl or gotten a girlfriend. I'm pretty sure I could solve the former easily if I went to a party and got drunk but that's not my aim. I also asked a girl out in school but I got rejected, because she liked another guy, who she is now going out with (she actually asked him out the same day I asked her out, I like to think I had a part in that! haha) Picking up girls starts here My first re-encounter with pick up was two weeks ago where I was at a maths lecture (sucking UCAS's dick) and I saw a really cute girl. I talk to a huge amount of people every time I go to anything like this where I don't know anyone but I noticed one girl that I didn't talk to. She was really cute, probably 8/10. I think I made the excuse of being busy talking to other people and not going up to her, but I went up to her after the lecture and was like 'Hey, you are cute, what's your name?'. She pretended she had to go somewhere and I wasn't persistent, I could have said 'wait up for a minute' or something. I instantly caved in and just accepted her decision. I also approached her from her side, which was a weird angle. Oh well, I'm glad I've still retained the balls to do this kind of thing. I'm sure I can regain certain aspects of my 'game' as I start doing this again Note to improve: Be persistent Today, I went to a physics lecture/master class thing. Once again, I met a huge amount of people, two of which were absolutely awesome. It's pretty cool how despite the majority of people being boring, as long as I try really hard to meet as many people as possible, I'll always find a few amazing people! As soon as I got into the lecture, I went straight to sit next to a cute girl. I was a bit disappointed when I sat down because this was a 5-6/10. Probably more but she was slightly chubby which really turns me off. Found out she had a boyfriend though (I wasn't flirting or anything) so it's all good. Two really cute girls sat behind me though, 8/10 and 9-9.5/10. I talked/flirted with them during the breaks as much as I could since the breaks were short, whilst meeting new people (which were mostly guys, since this was a physics lecture...). At the end I asked the 9.5 for her number and it turns out both of them were going to see their boyfriends.... fml. I HUGELY ****ed up after this. Before asking her for her number I made myself promise that if I got rejected, I wouldn't ask her friend, the 8 for her number because that's like saying to a girl that you're sloppy seconds which I didn't want to do at all. However when she said she had a boyfriend I cracked and panicked and did ask.... I never want to do this again. It is incredibly prattish. Still glad I went for it though. Note to improve: Act suave after failure. I should have made a joke like 'hey all three of you have a boyfriend, how about you screw them and have a foursome with me' or something. Show off my physique more. I hit the gym now and I'd like to wear tighter t-shirts rather than shirts/jumpers to show this since I don't have a prettyboy face (its not that bad though!) Remember that it is about what they have proved to me, not what I have proved to them. Catch myself doing uptalk and stop it Don't forget to wear deoderant... urghhh Post any tips/advice. It would be greatly appreciated. Cheers. Edit: Wonder how the negs will pan out for this thread. Already got two. Last time I got a barrage of negs which slowly turned into a torrent of pos rep as I explained myself, will be interesting.

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Married to a charming man

I want to have faith that my husband doesn't have emotional affairs or worse, but lately I have been seriously questioning his moral and character. Anytime we go out with with a group of people he is the center of attention accepting flirtatious manners and he acts "available." At work holiday parties or gatherings there's always a new female co-worker introducing themselves to me. Whenever I started to get the notion he was out of boundary or I get emotional, I tell him what I saw or felt and ask him if he understands and all he can say to every question is, "I don't know," or " what to you mean, what did I do," Now when I met him he had me right away, I was intrigued by him and how he can carry on about interesting topics, he's charming. He is easily likable etc...so I know I can't change a person. I just wish he had a little more respect for what we have, family, marriage, and me. One of his only responses to his behavior when we were out was, " we go out to socialize, "we don't have to just talk to eachother,". I'm thinking we don't get out enough and socialize or that I'm jealous or something. How do people live like that? I felt embarrassed or shamed the other night this chick felt on his man boobs and was even flirting with me, she was totally wild, and we should have put the breaks on it and just went home or something. There's people at this work who have all moved to other departments or got fired and I'm wondering why... Could he be a cheater? Or just getting comfortable (we've been married going on 7 years)

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levels of adultery - ONS, ongoing or serial cheating

The tears thread and various strength and diversity of responses in it got me thinking about this That particular sad tale was all based upon a one night stand infidelity and tragically it looks like Mr tears has ended it all and of course no one can blame him for that In my own experience of a serial adulterer who stupidly I forgave time after time I would have definitely gone on to give a second chance (and no doubt the same results) I do often see on here the huge efforts to reconcile after one or two chances and all the endless difficulties it causes between the two parties. I'm surprised a man can make a definite conclusive decision after one indiscretion/mistake especially a one night stand I can see generally the feeling about ons is that "cheating is cheating and that's that" however I do not subscribe to that being as bad as a prolonged organised destructive deceitful affair that smashes probably two marriages assunder all with forethought and malice. A one night stand by it's very nature limited damage and often with alcohol involved I don't put quite in the same bracket as planned affairs I know we are all different and have different boundaries Do people feel they are the same? that to say "it's all cheating so that's that" it covers all the infidelity sins?

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well...things just got interesting!!

I posted here yesterday and got some great advice about husband who has recently left me, with the assumption that it was to 1)guilt-free continue a PA or 2)start one. Our marriage has been struggling along for a little while and I was sad that his choice was to leave instead of work things out, and also feeling quite low about feeling as though I had "driven him away" by being a naggy, stressed wife and letting our sex life seeeriously lag. Anyways, so he moved out days ago but has left stuff here. Last night I was motivated to snoop through an old laptop of him. I was able to effortlessly log into an email account that I didn't even really realize that he had. TONS upon TONS of email conversations with women from a yahoo gaming website. All very very very sexual. Nude pictures from them, from him, all manner of stuff. He had been skyping with them (I didn't even realize he used Skype) and doing webcam stuff....and I am talking several women at a time, on one day a few months ago it looked like he had about two or three cyber sex conversations going on at one time. In a few of the chats that I could read, him and one particular girl (who apparently lives thousands of miles away somewhere) talk about how they are "dating". It appears as though he was using his real name and also using a fake name, had a fake Facebook account set up....this is INSANE. The real kicker? Looks like he was chatting with some of these girls one night while I was in the hospital after giving birth to our son via c-section last year. I AM HORRIFIED. And more convinced than ever that he has left to have a PA...he has probably had one before this! I'm not even sad, I am mad and actually so relieved that we are already separated so I don't have to kick is ass out. The thing is--I'd like to confront him, and I will, but I can already see that he will blame this on me for our lack of connection and lack of sex....but real men SHOULD discuss this with their wives BEFORE turning into some kind of creepy perv on the computer, yes? I am worried there will be a lot of "she brought this on herself" if this info gets out.....he is the nicest guy, but obviously has some serious issues. Who DOES this??!!

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what would you do if you think a woman is in a bad relationship

I am teaching a woman that is a mother of four. She has missed so many of my classes and is always late in handing in her assignments. I talked to her this week. She really wants to finish her schooling so she can continue with her career for her children. She just moved and has to drop off her children and pick them up at school everyday. I asked her why her children are not taking the school bus and she said it was because they live outside the school district. I asked why she doesn't put her kids into another school so they can take the bus. She didn't want to remove the kids from their school because they wouldn't have their friends and it wouldn't help since they move every couple of months. She says her husband works all the time and doesn't help her with the children. She also said family refuses to have anything to do with her so she has no one to help her with the children. I asked her is she has friends that could help her and she said no. The kids school does have daycare but she can't afford it. She was in tears when she was telling me her story and I didn't want to push her to tell me more. I do believe she is trying to better herself but she is stuck between a rock and a hard place. I assume the reason why they move all the time is because they don't pay rent. I have the feeling she wants to succeed because she wants to give her children a better life without her husband. I gave her advise to apply for reduced child care. She said she was denied in the past. Her husband is a cook and doesn't make that much money so I don't understand why they would be denied. I told her in the workplace an employer isn't going to let her come and go whenever she felt like it. She said employers let her before. I asked her where she worked before and she told me a bakery for a month, that is her work experience. The poor lady has been taking care of her children with no contact with family or friends for years. What advise would you give her or is she playing head games with me? Currently she is failing everything.

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Do socially awkward people get boyfriends too?

:( ???

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What type of mouth freshener do you use before kissing someone?

Please keep this anon. What type of mouth freshener do you use before kissing someone?

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Do most youngsters need to be knocked down a peg or two?

Why is it most youngsters (especially girls) will walk into a place and laugh at people, as if they are trying to assert "superiority" over people? lol.. Now, do they think others actually give a **** what some stranger's views are? Or a total neglect for basic social norms? Somebody will say "I don't do that"... lol.. lying doesn't become people. Just don't cry out when somebody comes up to you punches you square in the face.

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Can I hit people who deny me friends?

Why must I accept these "rules" of people denying me friends? Why must anybody accept any set of "rules"? If people get hit, resulting in fractured skulls, it's their own business.

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Why should it bother anybody if I hold normal knowledge?

Are you scared of somebody knowing more than you? And? I frankly couldn't care less.

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How many dates do you go on before sleeping with someone?

I'm just curious as to how many dates people go on or how long they spend getting to know someone before sleeping with them. I haven't done much dating and am not that experienced, if you know what I mean... I've been reading in places that the average is 3 dates but that just seems quick to me! I know it's my choice how long I wait but I'm just curious about how long people usually wait. Also, do most people just usually go for it or do you build up to it from the first date...? By that, I mean do you maybe have intense making-out sessions or do small sexual things on the first few dates before finally going for it on the next date? Sorry if all of this sounds stupid. As I said, I'm not very experienced...

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Asexuality

I am openly asexual and have been since I was 13, but I have never met another ace(asexual) outside the internet? Any chances at uni?

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One positive section on TAM

We all find ourselves here from troubled marriages and sometimes other relationships, but there should be one section where positive stories can be shared. This forum is for those focused on reconciliation and success stories from people who have been through separation and reconciled successfully. Looking at the current top stories, you would think this is the one of the other forums related to separation, divorce or infidelities, with no interest in reconciliation. Is there a monitor that can relocate these stories that are unrelated to successful or even hopeful reconciliations? There should be a place people can go for hope and seek advice from those who weathered the storm.

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Which one was the best one???

After some quick calculations, I came up with a little over 10,000 times I have had sex with my wife. But of all those times one stands out in my mind. I still replay that movie in my head.......Do you have one ABSOLUTELY BEST time?

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