Is that something in your eye dude? Wait no. It's just Sparkle.
Used that many times; works amazingly ;)
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When you have had enough let it out. A forum style blog about relationship issues and concerns,join in and have your say.
Whats your Favourite Pick up line?
Trouble dealing with my insecurities in relationship.
I will try to be concise as possible....
Basically I've been with my girlfriend only a short time, it is my second relationship.
She is very outgoing, bubbly, flirty and loves meeting new people. She is open about sex, and let's just say, has had a lot of sexual partners.
She has experimented, had threesomes, being with guys and girls (she is bi), and is just a bit promiscuous. Though, she hasn't (to my knowledge since being with me).
As for me, I'm very shy, somewhat insecure, have a sensitive nature, and don't enjoy going out, getting drunk, and recklessly having sex.
The issue is....more recently, I've become very paranoid about her. Almost as though I expect the worst case scenario. I feel as though because she's very 'free spirited', that she may one day act on urges and not be able to control herself. It's more an observation of her personality...she's more likely (be her nature) to stray and be captivated by others if I can't keep her attention.
Me and her have sex regularly, but I cant help but feel inadequate as a man but more so, because she is bisexual I feel I cannot match up to anything a woman can do. I feel threatened by it. Most blokes would love it...but I would never want to share her, and quite frankly the thought of her being pleasured by a woman makes me jealous.
My insecurities surrounding her sexuality, her outgoing nature and general attitude have made me clingy. I often find myself getting irritated when I see comments online by her, whenever she sas se met a new person or loves this place or that thing, because it makes me feel like she will abandon me.
I know that sounds silly, but I've become pretty attached too her. To the point, where, i get really sensitive over the slightest suggestion she could leave.
I dint believe it's the case I'm envious (though sometimes I am), but more a projection of how I feel.
I just feel like 'what if'...what if she meets someone new, and digs him/her more. Or realises she doesn't want me...or something changes?
The other day she suggested hypothetically about s threesome...with another girl...saying "what if I brought another girl back....would you like it?"..,.. I told her how I felt.
Sage understood, but I could sense some angst or awkwardness in her tone.
We've talked about similar stuff but I still feel insecure....
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Broke up six months ago but it still feels like we're together?
I'll try and keep this brief: We were only together for eight months, but if felt like a lifetime because we were together 24/7 and I helped him through a bad illness and issues with his mental health, and vice versa, so it was kind of full-on and that definitely contributed to us breaking up. We broke up in December, my choice, I regretted it the next day and told him so, but he was having none of it. It had just reached the stage where it felt like he never really wanted to see me and only saw me to keep me sweet. But the thing is, six months on, I still see him pretty much every day and, after a rocky patch, we've got a very odd 'friendship'. It's basically all of the elements of a relationship, emotionally, physically and everything else, but he won't commit and say that that's what it is. He won't be my boyfriend because he's worried that it'll go wrong like it did before, but the thing is, I think both of us have changed since then and I honestly think it wo uld work. I love this man. This is the bloke that I want to have children with and marry. He says he loves me too, but it's as though I'm expected to wait for him to outgrow his years of wanting to go out all the time and want to settle down. Yesterday, he told me that if I ever get off with somebody else, whether it's in a nightclub or whatever, he'll never speak to me again. But why should I be 'faithful' if we're not even together?! I can't move on, I can't find someone else because it feels like I'm still with him, it's like he's got me on reserve just in case he wants me in a few years to come. I don't know what to do. Right now, I'm just hoping that one day, he'll wake up and want me, but why would he do that when he gets me with no strings attached and no commitment whenever he wants? What do I do, and do you think we'll ever get back together?
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Can't speak to boys!
Hi,
I am at college , I've been there for a year now with the same boys in my lessons and I can't speak to any of them! Lots of boys look at me and I hate it! How can I get over this extreme nervousness around them, it is making my life hell?
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I sort of have a crush on a tsr member.
I've lurked for a couple of years, and I have a bit of a crush on a tsr member. I don't know what they look like in real life, so I guess I have a crush on their online personality. But I really like this person, but I've never spoken to her. I don't know if I should tell them because the person I have this crush on come across as quite intense in certain posts. so all I want to know, is should I start conversation with said person? or should I just leave it?
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Is this true?
A mate of mine said on facebook that the felt sorry for shy people, as they will miss out on so much. Would you say this is true? Will shy people miss out on so much ? please say that isn't !
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Looking for a little help or guidance
HI,
I am very NEW to this. I am 28 years old. Have two beautiful children. I had a successful job for 5 years, but now am a stay at home mother/homemaker. I NEED advice, guidance, maybe a little help with some issues that are popping up in my marriage.
First off, we have been married 6 months. Together for a total of 2 and 1/2 years. Living together now for two years. I have an 8 years old child previously. Together we have a 1 year old.
First Off:He is BAD with Money and will Lie about it.
Second: He has a terrible attitude/temper and can get very defensive.
Ok. I know, super lengthy. Sorry, lol. And as a disclaimer from the get go, My husband has become a much better person than he was. We are young, 27 and 28. Some of his issues have gotten better and he has made progress. I KNEW the person I was marrying would have difficulties. I KNEW he had issues with lying when he was much younger (A LOT of that stems from Daddy issues). I am NOT perfect and neither is he. HE DOES Love me. I am very certain of that. He is a Great Father, especially compared to my 8 years olds biological father (he never wanted anything to do with her or me, once he found out I was pregnant). There are many pluses to my husbands negatives. He has even recently started to help with housework, which he would NEVER do before.
But, there are problems. Issues have come up that are making me consider divorce, and I hate that I am even thinking it. My parents have been married 34 years. They had their struggles and ups and downs. But, they are happier now than ever. I WANT to get to that place. I know it takes work and I am trying.
First Issue:
He will LIE to me about paying a bill, such as a water bill or cable bill. This BAFFLES ME! He also has BIG issues with thinking of the money he earns as belonging to just HIM, rather than his family. I am NOT a greedy gold digger. I DO NOT shop! I buy groceries, I make sure we have what we need at home, the essentials. I make sure the baby and my daughter have what they need. That is all. I WAS paying the bills. BUT his issues with control over the money made me throw my hands in the air and say...it's yours, not mine, just give me grocery money.
I do not know what to do. He will waste his entire paycheck within a few days. And have NOTHING to show for it. He "says" he paid a bill, but "threw out the receipt." That is a LIE. He NEVER throws out a receipt. Plus, payment is NOT showing up on our account. This was supposedly paid last week. He got so pissed off at me for even asking for a receipt, so that I could call the business and have it straigtened out. That is a tell tell sign, he did not pay it.
Second:
He has a terrible attitude/temper and can get very defensive.
If I question, and I mean one question, him on anything I suspect he may have not done completely right. He will get so defensive and so mad. It is getting tough. He will berrate me, say really mean things to me. Say he hates me. How I do not respect him. He will tell me to pack my stuff up and call my parents and move out. He has told me he hated me once. He said it in front of my daughter (My daughter does not like my husband at all). He has told my daughter over the phone I need to leave. He has such a terrible temper. He has never hit me or come at me. He just verbally abuses. NOW, I am NOT saying I am perfect. Believe me, when he starts in on me, I can open up my big fat mouth and make it worse, I know! BUT, there is a difference. I draw a line at the things I say to him. He does not. He literally tears me a part in side and hurts me. I will be in tears and he will stand over me with his arms crossed across his chest telling me how annoying I am being th at I am crying. I CANNOT take anymore of this.
With that being said, he does apologize profusely afterwards. I have stayed at my parents twice. I love him. I have envisioned us growing old together. BUT he is so petty about things. I know he has a lot more growing up to do and I am holding in strong, but I no longer feel anything when he apologizes. I do not feel better. Because, I know he will do it again.
He has problems with helping me if I am hurt also. It is like he is afraid of being too sensitive. If I am upset, he will not touch me! And that makes me so much more upset! I had a miscarriage almost two years ago, and he was so mean to me! That was the hardest thing I have ever had to go through. I would just cry and cry. FINALLY, he got to where he found out I calmed down once he comforted me. But FORGET him ever trying to comfort me when he upsets me. He keep saying how he is "learning" and this is all new to him... Um, buddy it has been 2 and a half years! Plus, I TELL him what makes me feel better! NOW, I am NOT a cryer, I HATE IT. I normally cried, maybe twice a year if that much. But, he has such a way with his words, that he can have me in tears in no time. Then he tells me how stupid and annoying I am being. INstead of just realizing he is the reason I am even being emotional. And Forget him hugging me to make me stop. He will just tell me to shut up, th at I will wake the baby or that my daughter will hear. Then he will hound me with questions about what is wrong with me and why am I crying and to CALM DOWN.... I HATE that response!
He can also be very lazy. He will go a month or more without cutting our grass, right now it is up to my shin. I Hate it. I tried cranking the mower the other day, unsuccessfully. lol. It's a push mower. He has said he will cut it tomorrow. But, he also said he would do it last weekend. He has a problem with "follow-through." I no longer take him at his word. He doesn't even understand why! I mean, come on! He barely does what he says he will do. I would say MAYBE 10% of the time he ACTUALLY does what he says he will. Any other time, it's excuse after excuse.
Again, I want to say I am NOT perfect. I make so many mistakes also. I can have a sassy attitude. I can give him the cold shoulder when he is actually trying to be nice. BUT, after all our arguments, and all the horrible stuff he has said to me to put me down. I find it harder and harder to be loving towards him. I think we need marriage counseling for sure. But, this is my first step and looking for a little help and guidance.
I will say this, he does pay for anything my daughter wants, when he has money. He pays for her insurance also. There are plenty of pros to go with the cons. That is why I have held in for so long. But, there has to be a breaking point.
HElP.
I am very NEW to this. I am 28 years old. Have two beautiful children. I had a successful job for 5 years, but now am a stay at home mother/homemaker. I NEED advice, guidance, maybe a little help with some issues that are popping up in my marriage.
First off, we have been married 6 months. Together for a total of 2 and 1/2 years. Living together now for two years. I have an 8 years old child previously. Together we have a 1 year old.
First Off:He is BAD with Money and will Lie about it.
Second: He has a terrible attitude/temper and can get very defensive.
Ok. I know, super lengthy. Sorry, lol. And as a disclaimer from the get go, My husband has become a much better person than he was. We are young, 27 and 28. Some of his issues have gotten better and he has made progress. I KNEW the person I was marrying would have difficulties. I KNEW he had issues with lying when he was much younger (A LOT of that stems from Daddy issues). I am NOT perfect and neither is he. HE DOES Love me. I am very certain of that. He is a Great Father, especially compared to my 8 years olds biological father (he never wanted anything to do with her or me, once he found out I was pregnant). There are many pluses to my husbands negatives. He has even recently started to help with housework, which he would NEVER do before.
But, there are problems. Issues have come up that are making me consider divorce, and I hate that I am even thinking it. My parents have been married 34 years. They had their struggles and ups and downs. But, they are happier now than ever. I WANT to get to that place. I know it takes work and I am trying.
First Issue:
He will LIE to me about paying a bill, such as a water bill or cable bill. This BAFFLES ME! He also has BIG issues with thinking of the money he earns as belonging to just HIM, rather than his family. I am NOT a greedy gold digger. I DO NOT shop! I buy groceries, I make sure we have what we need at home, the essentials. I make sure the baby and my daughter have what they need. That is all. I WAS paying the bills. BUT his issues with control over the money made me throw my hands in the air and say...it's yours, not mine, just give me grocery money.
I do not know what to do. He will waste his entire paycheck within a few days. And have NOTHING to show for it. He "says" he paid a bill, but "threw out the receipt." That is a LIE. He NEVER throws out a receipt. Plus, payment is NOT showing up on our account. This was supposedly paid last week. He got so pissed off at me for even asking for a receipt, so that I could call the business and have it straigtened out. That is a tell tell sign, he did not pay it.
Second:
He has a terrible attitude/temper and can get very defensive.
If I question, and I mean one question, him on anything I suspect he may have not done completely right. He will get so defensive and so mad. It is getting tough. He will berrate me, say really mean things to me. Say he hates me. How I do not respect him. He will tell me to pack my stuff up and call my parents and move out. He has told me he hated me once. He said it in front of my daughter (My daughter does not like my husband at all). He has told my daughter over the phone I need to leave. He has such a terrible temper. He has never hit me or come at me. He just verbally abuses. NOW, I am NOT saying I am perfect. Believe me, when he starts in on me, I can open up my big fat mouth and make it worse, I know! BUT, there is a difference. I draw a line at the things I say to him. He does not. He literally tears me a part in side and hurts me. I will be in tears and he will stand over me with his arms crossed across his chest telling me how annoying I am being th at I am crying. I CANNOT take anymore of this.
With that being said, he does apologize profusely afterwards. I have stayed at my parents twice. I love him. I have envisioned us growing old together. BUT he is so petty about things. I know he has a lot more growing up to do and I am holding in strong, but I no longer feel anything when he apologizes. I do not feel better. Because, I know he will do it again.
He has problems with helping me if I am hurt also. It is like he is afraid of being too sensitive. If I am upset, he will not touch me! And that makes me so much more upset! I had a miscarriage almost two years ago, and he was so mean to me! That was the hardest thing I have ever had to go through. I would just cry and cry. FINALLY, he got to where he found out I calmed down once he comforted me. But FORGET him ever trying to comfort me when he upsets me. He keep saying how he is "learning" and this is all new to him... Um, buddy it has been 2 and a half years! Plus, I TELL him what makes me feel better! NOW, I am NOT a cryer, I HATE IT. I normally cried, maybe twice a year if that much. But, he has such a way with his words, that he can have me in tears in no time. Then he tells me how stupid and annoying I am being. INstead of just realizing he is the reason I am even being emotional. And Forget him hugging me to make me stop. He will just tell me to shut up, th at I will wake the baby or that my daughter will hear. Then he will hound me with questions about what is wrong with me and why am I crying and to CALM DOWN.... I HATE that response!
He can also be very lazy. He will go a month or more without cutting our grass, right now it is up to my shin. I Hate it. I tried cranking the mower the other day, unsuccessfully. lol. It's a push mower. He has said he will cut it tomorrow. But, he also said he would do it last weekend. He has a problem with "follow-through." I no longer take him at his word. He doesn't even understand why! I mean, come on! He barely does what he says he will do. I would say MAYBE 10% of the time he ACTUALLY does what he says he will. Any other time, it's excuse after excuse.
Again, I want to say I am NOT perfect. I make so many mistakes also. I can have a sassy attitude. I can give him the cold shoulder when he is actually trying to be nice. BUT, after all our arguments, and all the horrible stuff he has said to me to put me down. I find it harder and harder to be loving towards him. I think we need marriage counseling for sure. But, this is my first step and looking for a little help and guidance.
I will say this, he does pay for anything my daughter wants, when he has money. He pays for her insurance also. There are plenty of pros to go with the cons. That is why I have held in for so long. But, there has to be a breaking point.
HElP.
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Actions contradicting words
I have a very good male friend. He came to visit me where I live, asks me for dinner where he suggests we share food then pays, writes me letters and long messages, suggests we Skype, and spend loads of time with me, always texts me telling me what a nice time he had, is a bit touchy-feely, shows interest in my life, tells me he's looked at my Facebook photos, wants to meet my friends etc.
I told him I had feelings for him, whereupon he told me he still had feelings for his ex-girlf, which I find hard to believe (they only dated for a few months, split up months ago) Nothing has changed since I told him this (if anything he seems even more keen to spend time with me), but I can't understand what is going on.
Any advice appreciated.
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Would you find this weird if it were you?
I broke up with my boyfriend a few weeks ago,but our brief relationships(Only a month or so) was founded on a nearly year long friendship so we still stay in contact(he calls me nearly every morning and we text most days) regularly. I ended the relationship and it was fairly amicable,although he admits he didn't want it to end and was cut up by it pretty badly for a week or so.He now says he's getting better. I went to the gym with him last weekend and we went for drinks with friends at a bar and a club also.Friends say that all of this is weird and this much contact is odd-it shouldn't matter what they think but its getting to me now. He hugs me,touches at my face sometimes,pulls my legs onto his lap like we used to sometimes, but apart from that there is no frequent physical contact like there was before of course. He still calls me pretty/beautiful and return the compliment which also seemed to bother friends.He has mentioned other girls though (hasnt done anyt hing as he said its too soon but he at least notices) which makes it all seem okay.
We had arranged a night in together soon to catch up as we will both be fairly busy over the next few weeks to actually meet in person. He's going to stay over at mine and watch a movie we watched when it was our first date(we both love the movie and will buy a copy soon to watch) and have drinks etc..I said my place as my family will be away for the holidays and his mum doesnt like me much because of the breakup so we cant go there(Neither of us has moved out yet)
We enjoy each others company and it seems fine,he seemed enthusiasstic and open to the idea as it solved the where to go problem.But some friends have made comments and its annoying me.
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Envy
So if a friend like never compliments you, and always says nasty things about the person you talk to/like and always makes little digs/snide remarks like 'i'm so naturally pretty'
would you say it's jealousy?
NEED OPINIONS!
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27 year old virgin
I am 26 years old nearly 27 in a couple of weeks, never had a girlfriend, can't even look in the mirror as I can't stand looking at myself as I feel I am ugly. Is there any hope?
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Does he like me he acts differently with me?
Does he like me? I know him about 2-3 months. I'm 21 hes 25
When I was talking to to him as he was explaining something workout we were standing side by side close, my arm brushed against his accidentally I could feel the hairs on his arm he didn't move his arm away just left it there continued talking I moved mine away slowly after a couple of seconds. He afterwards moved in closer moving his arm nearer almost touching just close that you know it's there. We always stand extremely close to each other like in a intimate closeness. Ever since I touched his arm he seems more comfortable , talkative around me. The next time I saw him we ended up talking about our weekend ended up talking long about movies.He's a confident guy different with everyone else talkative but quieter with me. During sets he asked me about if I was a student, what age I was, where I was from. He seemed to want to know all about me took him 3months to ask this.. We spoke about world cup. He was joking with me a lot telling me stuff. He's my trainer he's done other flirty touching like he got me to touch off his hand. He stood much closer to me. He seems to be getting more comfortable talking to me more or joking with me , wanting to know more about me. Is he interested? Did me touching his arm last week give him a signal that I liked him making him more secure ? Is him asking about my age a sign of interest ?Why it it take 3months for him to talk more to me?
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I need advice
I need advice on this relationship I'm having but could I talk to you guys privately? (Pm) if you're ok with that just leave a message and I'll pm you
Cheers
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What am I to her?
How do I cut a long story ever so short. Not my forte but I'll give it a go:
I have strong feelings for a girl In Sixth Form, one year older than me but in my year group because she resat Year 12. What pulls me to her is this quirkiness about her: she wouldn't say she's "fine" or "good" generically, she would be more extrovert than the others and go the extra mile, expressing her tiredness, when she was tired, and other emotions she was feeling and what exactly made her feel those emotions. I know the facial expressions and the large, blue eyes when staring at me would tell me she's being herself and expressing a genuine interest in me (I'll never forget how she looked at me the first conversation we had with each other).
But when I'm sitting down with my friends in the Common Room or working in one of the two Computer Rooms by myself and she walks past me, that's it, she doesn't verbally or non-verbally greet me (e.g. tap me on the shoulder or body), unless I make direct eye contact with her or greet her myself.
I think there's only been 1 or 2 occasions, since we've known each other, (we met on a University trip) where she's been the one who's put herself out there first and not me, but with close and casual friends (who were in the same courses as her unlike myself) she's perfectly fine at doing it, even with their backs turned to her whilst working. Socialising as well: her friends and other acquaintances seem light years ahead of me in terms of general knowledge, humour and keeping conversations entertaining and lively, I look at myself and think:
"I can't make her happy like that, I want her so badly but she's clearly happier around other people, even though she can smile and be happy around me and I can do that a bit, but it's not enough and I don't know what to do"
It was painful and I am socially awkward so I would keep my distance from her and her friends' normal whereabouts because the pain of not being able to make her as happy as others could would overwhelm me and hurt my self-esteem, unsettle me and I wanted to be that guy who prioritised his work and personal health, whilst thinking about her everyday and when I'll see her.
That was on top of what a close friend advised me to do as part of being this dominant "Alpha Male" women/girls appeal to and how they dislike neediness, telling me to focus and improve on myself after she looked closed off and unsettled around me for a while after I'd asked if we could "hang out after school" in November and she said she had a friend's birthday present to give and said "maybe another time". I asked her for a game of blackjack earlier this year because on Twitter she spoke of being taught poker by her Dad over the weekend and I thought that would be a good activity to do together, she declined again saying she was busy, I passively asked "When?" then she said she didn't know "when".
Twitter is a whole different thing as well: we followed each other (early December last year) after I saw her Twitter account through some mentions in a conversation of two friends of mine who were both following her. It helped a lot in terms of getting to know her, but that almost-vindictive pain of not being able to interact like her other friends, would arise when I saw my friends interacting with her freely and for quite a long time, the frustration compounded because she never initiated any conversations with me from my tweets (pretty much the same scenario as above with greeting), whilst she did with my friends. Since we've followed each other, we've had only one fairly long conversation and a few that were cut short after she replied only once, she wouldn't reply to some interactions I tried to start with her. Hit and miss basically.
I'm extremely analytical and a statistical-enthusiast so I've counted the amount of favourites & RTs she's given me: 12 favourites and 1 Retweet. The times where we would interact face-to-face was when I caught up with her in a hallway by herself, in a group conversation with some of my classmates and friends who knew her (very rare), or when she was occasionally in the Computer Room I was normally in. Sometimes I would be cynical, which is something I wanted to avoid being, for the sake of catching up with her, but most times I would think I'm manipulative and therefore doing something bad so I would be counter-intuitive and allow my day to flow as naturally as possible.
On a positive note she began regularly complimenting my clothing this year, and the sole hair compliment when I opted for a different hairstyle when I got my haircut and we've hugged each other several times too (even though I do wonder If there's been enough physical contact between us to develop our friendship?), the most recent hug was probably the most emotional because I was apologising for an incident on the last day of Sixth Form where I deserted her without saying a word to her because - it was the end of Sixth Form (final goodbyes, final moments with friends and teachers etc.) and me being subdued came off better. I thought her and her friend weren't interested in talking to me (because of my social awkwardness) when they were about to leave before I actually did, so I said sorry whilst we held onto each other for quite a while and said I wanted to see her and make amends after that incident.
We've both given each other things as symbols of a friendship, like she would offer me chewing gum or chocolate occasionally, and even gave me a pound when I was really hungry one time and didn't have any money with me (I hate taking things off people even when its their offering) and I would give her subtle gifts and cards for Xmas, Valentines Day (yes :D) and her Birthday to insinuate how much I love her (I had her birthday card personalised because cards from a gift store seem meaningless more and more as time wears on from my perspective and I wanted something that symbolised who she was).
I'm sorry for the long post :( I hope it's all clear to you guys, so in summary: she compliments me, she likes my tweets and posts on Twitter and when in face-to-face conversation with me she's as frank, open, quirky and pretty both on the inside and outside as anyone can ask from her, but I have to put myself out there first to get somewhere most of the time, whilst she tends to not greet me without direct eye contact.
I probably know the answer to this in terms of how she feels about me, but I want to believe that I mean something to her and I'm not just a guy she met on a School trip and not worthy of talking to, that there's a reason for all of this and that the dots can be aligned when I tell her how I feel (I already planned to do it the next time I see her). I can't tell her on Twitter (even via a Private Message) as this is something where you need to be in person and express yourself genuine (actions speak louder than words), especially when I'm going to tell her I love her.
The conflict within me is very deep and complex, and I want to know what you guys think of all of this and give me the realities I face. Funny enough, tomorrow's exactly a year since we met each other on that trip, and she was the one who spoke to me first when I was talking with my friends about the exact whereabouts of Essex. 21st June 2013: That was a good day!
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