| That's my new post, please give me any possible advice Basic info 1. we dated 2 years and married 1.5 years 2. we both around late 20s and no kid 3. we were having location problem and so I moved to states for him and we married because of the visa status and reassurance when he go to school. 4. we argued almost every month in the past 1.5 years. Mostly about me being pissed off because of the location that I always wanted to move back to Asia and think he doesn't love me as much as I do to him and he's selfish. 5. he went to internship this june to dec, and I quitted my job on july and followed him there. 6. I went back to Asia on oct 1 and we were still okay by the time I left. 7. Two weeks after I left, we got in fight about the xmas vocation arrangement. He wanted to spend xmas with his family more and wanted to extend the time and adjust the time to visit me. 8. we solve the vocation problem but he brought up more future problem and how to raised kid, job and location. 9. He said divorce around mid oct but recover three days later. 10. He always fluctuate about his job. He promised me he would move back to Asia for me before we got married. Now he said wife job is not as important as husband and he wanted me to give him more time. He said he was under pressure when he promised me to do so before. 11. 12/21, he said he thought i am more important than job so he would take the Asia offer. 12. 12/21-12/24, he said we both should calm down and think about it ourself on what we want. he flight back home from europe on 12/21 and start to become colder. He still responsed my msg on 12/21-22 and still willing to talk but said I need to think about the problem and emotional myself.I got pissed and so continue to send him msg. 13. 12/23-12/24, he refused to reply my msg/email. He said he had nothing to talk. 12/24, he said divorce and he said we talked enough. he said that's the best for us. He even refused to pick up my mom's call. She was sitting next to me and got pissed when she saw his msg about the divorce. 14. 12/25-27 sent him few msg, and he said he had nothing to talk. he still said he missed me but he didn't want to talk. 15 12/28 I start to beg and plead, he said don't do that. He said divorce and our problem couldn't be solve. problem. 1. job 2. location and 3 family. He still rejected me flying there and said if i wanted to recover, flying there will make his family impulsive and non recoverable. He was supposed to fly back to Asia and stay with me for 12/31. He canceled the flight that day. 16. He still called me at mid night and asked where I was and replied to my emailed. 12/30 he promised he would go to MC with me and tried another 1 mth. However, given I don't msg him from that time til 1/20. 17. I failed and msg him some email saying I miss him on 12/31. 18. He replied me with a very cruel email on 1/1. Changed the way he called me. saying that the time being apart he was happier without me and will be happier without me in the future as well. No matter what I did and changed, he wouldn't come back with me. He said we would only discuss about the divorce by email, no more text, email , phone or face on anything. He forced me to choose contested or uncontested. I replied I wanted a face talk. He said he would go ahead with contested then. 19. I kept msg him from 1/1-1/10. He seldom replied. I told him I agreed to sign, but wanted to have a face talk and asked why we became enemy. He said he thought he's doing the best for us and being the most supportive. 1/10, i sent him msg saying seeing him will help me move on. surprisingly he called me on 1/10. we talked for 2 hours. He said no need to have separation period. He just wanted divorce. He said he's not used to the life without me and he's learning as well. The conversation was very normal and I didn't sound unhappy at all. He agreed to meet up by the end of the month. 20. 1/2, I have another online chat with him and telling him I was very happy to have a talk with him. I said why we would not be friend. etc. He said we could be friend after the legal process and he thinks him talking to me will slow down me moving on. He said he couldn't breath when he was in the relationship. Our happy time was not enough to offset the unhappiness. He was dying. Even he's upset now, but at least he could breath. He said if I drag him back to emotional state, he will be mean again. If i don't drag him he could leave peacefully. He said he didn't want to see MC, but he was emotional when he talked to me, that's why he wanted to avoid talking. He said if it's up to him, he would refer not talk/see. 21. We had another conversation on 1/14. I told him not coming back by the end of the month and shipped back everything and talked abit about spouse support. He answer he would shipped back and I asked for last conversation by gchat. He said he answered all questoins and he seem mad about me asking spouse support. He said we would talk about it in legal process and he said why am I always the one decide everything. why am i mean to him. He hates my fluctuate personality, he hates all our argument and he asked to leave him alone. He said he couldn't breath. He would die and stress if he still in our relationship. 22. same day, after he paid the current month credit card, he said we could cut the card since we both had independent one. I said you told me by phone you would pay it til we legally separated why we cut it. He said he didn't think that he was not being rude. I said we were both reaching our limit maybe we should stop talking and I said no objection on cutting the card. p.s His friend told me he sent him an email on 12/26 saying that he still loves me but our problem is not solvable. I talked to the friend on 1/1 and he told me even with the cruel email, he said my H might be pressured by his family (his family doesn't like me because they think I always make him unhappy and they don't know we got married until recently because we wanted to keep it private until we have money for our wedding). I didn't talk to him for 5 days already and he didn't msg me either. We haven't met each other for 3.5 months now and he's in states and I am in Asia now. Are we done? He said he would gather enough information and he update me with the process when he filled up the form. | |||
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