Have had several posts recently about my situation. Quick Stats: Married 9 years, together for 11 - 1 child 4.5yrs old. Wife surprised me with a separation about 7 weeks ago. Lots of hot and cold signals from her since then. Thought she was in love with someone else but he did not reciprocate and of course now she says she's not. I'm in PC.
Through all of my other threads and posts and the wonderful responses shared with me by many of you, I have been slowly piecing the puzzle together on how we got here since I was completely caught by surprise. Her original reason for leaving was quickly changed by an near death event 3 days into our separation which felt to me like it pushed as far away as possible - though the hot and cold still goes on.
This morning after a PC where I shared the events as best I could exactly how they happened, my counselor handed me a list of 'traits' for someone going through a midlife crisis - my wife has exhibited everyone of them (no exaggeration either) including her age and a trigger event etc. Not ignoring that the things we need to work on which lead to the separation are real, but now it would appear I may be battling something different altogether on top of that as well.
Any hope now that we can reconcile? I'm feeling pretty much hopeless at this point because I can't tell her what I think I've found without her thinking I'm deflecting away from the separation issues.
My counselor told me what I should do for me and my daughter but that short of listening to my wife I will probably not get very far - basically told me to go full on 180. I'm crushed to know my chances for R just got greatly reduced as some MLCs can go on for years or even forever if the person never realizes they are in one.
Starting to feel beat down.......any insights or advice are welcome as always!
Through all of my other threads and posts and the wonderful responses shared with me by many of you, I have been slowly piecing the puzzle together on how we got here since I was completely caught by surprise. Her original reason for leaving was quickly changed by an near death event 3 days into our separation which felt to me like it pushed as far away as possible - though the hot and cold still goes on.
This morning after a PC where I shared the events as best I could exactly how they happened, my counselor handed me a list of 'traits' for someone going through a midlife crisis - my wife has exhibited everyone of them (no exaggeration either) including her age and a trigger event etc. Not ignoring that the things we need to work on which lead to the separation are real, but now it would appear I may be battling something different altogether on top of that as well.
Any hope now that we can reconcile? I'm feeling pretty much hopeless at this point because I can't tell her what I think I've found without her thinking I'm deflecting away from the separation issues.
My counselor told me what I should do for me and my daughter but that short of listening to my wife I will probably not get very far - basically told me to go full on 180. I'm crushed to know my chances for R just got greatly reduced as some MLCs can go on for years or even forever if the person never realizes they are in one.
Starting to feel beat down.......any insights or advice are welcome as always!
Put the internet to work for you.
No comments:
Post a Comment