Many of you know my story, so I won't re-do it here. She signed the divorce papers Tuesday and I went in and signed yesterday afternoon. It was weird seeing her signature on the pages. She never called or texted to tell me she signed and she still hasn't and yet she was in such a rush about the whole thing.
I was hoping I would feel relief by this event, but it just hurts still. She has made no attempt of any kind to check in or see how I'm doing. There has been virtually no contact of any kind over these last three weeks since she moved out and I'm sure she and her man are just living it up, while I'm left to pick up the pieces and figure out exactly what did happen.
It still shocks me so much that this woman - who asked me to marry her last August - is capable of just turning off her emotions like a light switch. It is still so surreal to know we just got married in April (she had already been emotionally engaging the other man at that time) and two months later she wants out, two days after that talk, she's moved (I am told she moved right in with the other man), and now three weeks after that we have both signed the divorce papers. And now, this woman who lived with me for two years, dated for three, and married for two months has completely shut me or anything to do with me completely out of her life. Just a complete shutdown and departure and all in a relative flash. It's amazing. I wouldn't be surprised if I never heard from or saw her again in my life.
This is the woman who called me her soulmate and said she loved me like she's never loved anyone else and that she can't see her life without me ever when SHE proposed to ME. This is the same woman that on Valentine's day posted over 200 sticky notes around the house with sweet, romantic, loving notes just everywhere. Then around some time in March - just before the wedding - it all started to change. It was about that time one of the OM's best friends implored me not to marry her and that if she wasn't cheating already, she will with that OM and that this OM (also severe alcoholic, like her), will never give up pursuing her because he feels like I "beat" him with that girl - yes, my STBX was his ex-girlfriend.
It's so confusing still to me. I mean I know her ex was really putting the press on her, but what kind of person lets another man in enough to start the emotional attachment to begin with? We had talked about her being in that bar and around him a hundred times and she would always get mad at me for even suggesting that she shouldn't be around him.
I also found out that she had recently had full-on relationships with other women, just before I came along. Just such a dark twisted person. So as far as I can tell it, her ex - the OM - starts to put the full press on her before the wedding (actually right after we got engaged), filling her up with "you're the one that got away, you're my biggest mistake letting you go" etc. (my STBX actually told me that he had told her some of these things!). He keeps up the pressure, meanwhile, I'm expecting her to act like a woman in a committed relationship and not hang out at bars by herself until 2-4 o'clock in the morning. She tries to resist, but the attraction of being back with a man that cheated on her and wants to make amends along with the promise of the full on party life with no accountability and no responsibility was just too much to resist.
I guess I'll never know for sure, but there is something for real wrong with that girl. I just wish my heart would catch up to my head, so I don't have to still be sad and confused about it anymore.
I was hoping I would feel relief by this event, but it just hurts still. She has made no attempt of any kind to check in or see how I'm doing. There has been virtually no contact of any kind over these last three weeks since she moved out and I'm sure she and her man are just living it up, while I'm left to pick up the pieces and figure out exactly what did happen.
It still shocks me so much that this woman - who asked me to marry her last August - is capable of just turning off her emotions like a light switch. It is still so surreal to know we just got married in April (she had already been emotionally engaging the other man at that time) and two months later she wants out, two days after that talk, she's moved (I am told she moved right in with the other man), and now three weeks after that we have both signed the divorce papers. And now, this woman who lived with me for two years, dated for three, and married for two months has completely shut me or anything to do with me completely out of her life. Just a complete shutdown and departure and all in a relative flash. It's amazing. I wouldn't be surprised if I never heard from or saw her again in my life.
This is the woman who called me her soulmate and said she loved me like she's never loved anyone else and that she can't see her life without me ever when SHE proposed to ME. This is the same woman that on Valentine's day posted over 200 sticky notes around the house with sweet, romantic, loving notes just everywhere. Then around some time in March - just before the wedding - it all started to change. It was about that time one of the OM's best friends implored me not to marry her and that if she wasn't cheating already, she will with that OM and that this OM (also severe alcoholic, like her), will never give up pursuing her because he feels like I "beat" him with that girl - yes, my STBX was his ex-girlfriend.
It's so confusing still to me. I mean I know her ex was really putting the press on her, but what kind of person lets another man in enough to start the emotional attachment to begin with? We had talked about her being in that bar and around him a hundred times and she would always get mad at me for even suggesting that she shouldn't be around him.
I also found out that she had recently had full-on relationships with other women, just before I came along. Just such a dark twisted person. So as far as I can tell it, her ex - the OM - starts to put the full press on her before the wedding (actually right after we got engaged), filling her up with "you're the one that got away, you're my biggest mistake letting you go" etc. (my STBX actually told me that he had told her some of these things!). He keeps up the pressure, meanwhile, I'm expecting her to act like a woman in a committed relationship and not hang out at bars by herself until 2-4 o'clock in the morning. She tries to resist, but the attraction of being back with a man that cheated on her and wants to make amends along with the promise of the full on party life with no accountability and no responsibility was just too much to resist.
I guess I'll never know for sure, but there is something for real wrong with that girl. I just wish my heart would catch up to my head, so I don't have to still be sad and confused about it anymore.
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