My wife and I have been married for 7 years and have 3 children, twin 2 year olds and a 6 year old. To make a long story short I went into a severe state of depression when three years ago I discovered that I could not have any more children of my own. The twins that we have are adopted embryos. There was problems with the pregnancy and it added more stress and depression on. They were born at 30 weeks and had to stay in NICU for almost 3 months. All of this also put my wife into a depression. Trying to be there for her and not let her see how bad I truly was made it worse on me and I went basically into a shell. I did not realize what I was doing to her. I had started ignoring her and she was not giving her the attention she needed. This went on for almost two years. Three months ago she came to me and told me that she was talking to her ex and that she was confused. The only other relationship that my wife has ever had was with this guy and she has only been with him and myself. She has decided that she wants to meet him in person and have lunch with him. When they were dating she left him four times because of the way he treated her (controlling, demeaning, emotional) but he is now again promising her that he has changed. She is willing to take our oldest daughter with her to ensure me that she is not going to do anything inappropriate. I have tried my hardest to talk to her and show her how much she means to me. She tells me she is not going to do anything to hurt our children. He lives one state over and is about 6 hours away. She has now told me that I need to back off and let her think before it screws both of us up even further and the kids. How are I supposed to back off when I want this to work more than anything in the world, she is my world and I love her with wholeheartedly.
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