Husband never wants sex 😥

Hey, I've joined this forum as I am a 25 year old mother of 2 toddlers who is very unhappy in my marriage and don't know what else to do. We have had problems with sex for about 7 years of our 11 year relationship however I loved him so stuck around hoping things would get better as he kept promising he would try harder. He works 8am until 5pm in a fairly physically demanding outdoor job so I never bother him for sex during the week although it was never a problem through the week at an earlier stage in our relationship and eventually he started rejecting me constantly or purposely ignoring my advances to the point where I never initiate sex because I am so scared of the embarrassment I have felt so many times. Anytime I try to talk about it he comes up with an excuse so I then try and fix whatever load of rubbish he has came up with for him to find another obstacle as to why we can't have sex. I am 25 and have sex about 12 times a year and some if th ose times it's over pretty fast to which I pretend it doesn't bother me. Everything is always on his terms which devastates me. In last few weeks I've got very brave and tried to initiate a couple of times and been met with the same old usual anger. I keep myself in best condition I can for a mother of 2 young kids.....showered every day and night, make up on, nice clothes and hair straightened or curled which never ever gets noticed by my husband just how much I try to get attention from him. He never compliments me on anything and the compliments I rarely get are always because ive prodded for them by saying "does this look okay" etc and he gives the impression he couldn't care less. I am desperate for the feeling of an intimate connection, just to feel loved, attractive and secure in our marriage. I love him and I know he loves me however I'm unhappy how little he appreciates me for the loving and loyal wife that I am and now much I try for him when he can't even me et me a fraction of the way. I want to have sex every day however I realised years ago that it was unrealistic so I settled for a few times a week which has gradually decreased to about 12 times a year. I've dressed up in lingerie, bought kinky toys bla bla bla....nothing works and I'm left feeling mortified and ashamed of myself. There's much more I could discuss such as him calling me fat in the past as well as verbally abusing me however that's not happened in about 2 years but I still remember it from time to time and I feel as sick today as I did back then when he said those awful things to me. Please can anyone give me advice on what to do or feel free to ask me anything else you want to know ....I've tried to make sure I haven't omitted anything however it's nearly 5 in the morning and I've been up all night breaking my heart thinking that my marriage will eventually fail

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