How do I get my husband to take care of his health?

My husband is 36 years old, and I'm 32. We've been together for seven years, married for two and a half. We have a very happy relationship, and we want it to last for the rest of our lives. However, I'm burdened about his health. His father died in 2009 at age 58 from a heart attack after two triple bypasses; he was a heavy smoker and ate poorly, although he was very thin. His mother has a laundry list of health concerns, including heart problems, diabetes, and colitis. Neither of his parents ever taught him how to make healthy choices regarding diet, exercise, managing stress, etc. On my side, my parents both have heart disease and diabetes, and I've seen firsthand what a huge hindrance that can be to living a full life. I'm worried that my husband will get to his 50s or 60s and then become disabled by health problems - or worse. I don't want the person I spend my years building a life with to die before he can enjoy it with me.

My husband:

• Has a very demanding job in IT at an oil refinery where he's one of only two people in his department. He loves the job, but he does not handle stress on the job well at all - he is a perfectionist and he can't stand when things remain undone or pile up. He works very hard, which is admirable, but he's too demanding of himself and doesn't do a good job of balancing work and home. When he gets home, he's too exhausted to do much anything else.
• Does not like to eat vegetables or salads or most healthy foods, although eats pretty much everything I cook, and I cook as healthy as possible while being realistic about what he will eat. (For example, I usually use ground turkey in place of ground beef and opt for lowfat dairy, etc.) When he's out at a restaurant or fast food, he often gets very high fat/sugar/salt choices.
• Doesn't exercise at all, but does do physical labor on the job. He has pronation/weak ankles and won't do certain activities that put strain on them (understandable). He's pretty resistant to any suggestions of exercise, even if it's to play tennis, walk on the beach, swim, etc.
• Is substantially overweight (I'd guess 75 to 100 pounds, but I'm not exactly sure).
• Hasn't seen a doctor or had blood work done or a checkup in at least 20 years (even though I've encouraged it a number of times since we met). He doesn't have any health insurance and doesn't want to spend the money when he feels that nothing is wrong with him.

Do you have any suggestions for me on ways to get him to take a more active role in his health? Of all the things, I'd really love to see him lose weight and learn to leave balance his work stress. I suspect that his weight does cause difficulties in our sex life sometimes (certain positions he wants to try are too difficult and he has issues with delayed ejaculation), but I don't know how to tell him. I wouldn't think of hurting him or making him feel self-conscious about his weight. I have health concerns of my own, and I've been interested in health since college, so I eat pretty healthy myself and I've just joined a gym so that I can lose weight and avoid disease later in life. I'm hoping my positive example will help inspire my husband and the rest of my family.

Thanks for your contributions!

Put the internet to work for you.

Delete or edit this Recipe