My first post here so please bear with me. Some background: A few years ago, I had to get a MS degree for work. This was a finite two-year commitment but has been done for a year now. During that time, I had A LOT of difficulty balancing work, school, business travel, two kids, and at the time, a wife with an insatiable sexual appetite.
Fast forward to today. My wife has told me that she can't depend on me for happiness anymore and has focused most of her "non-family" energy towards the gym and towards becoming a fitness instructor. She is still an amazing woman and a wonderful mother and for all intents and purposes, she loves me on a platonic level.
Me, on the other hand - now that the MS program has finished, she told me I was totally self involved during the program and she had to suffer through it and effectively lost her sex drive as a result.
I'm trying to make amends but no matter what I do, she literally has NO interest in sex. She says its ok if she just lies there while I go at it. when we do have sex, she'll remark afterwards, "are you happy now?" She also knows that whenever I try to get close, it will lead to an advance, so while we're sitting together or whatever, she'll comment on, "well, I'd ask you to massage my quads but I know where your hands will end up" or if she's tired and she lays her head down on my lap, she'll say, "I could hear your brain wanting to push me down there..."
The thing is, she pushes away. When I comment on how good she looks or how she's really beautiful, she'll rebuff and say, "thank you, but you're still not getting any" or something like that.
So, I've resigned myself to a sexless life. I think all the time she spends at the gym has changed how she looks at me. Additionally, though she is still a great mom to our kids, by the time we spend time together, she's too busy practicing her workouts or stretching.
She frankly admits that she masturbates to get to sleep and that she'd rather do that than get messy with me.
Any advice from the cognoscenti here?
Fast forward to today. My wife has told me that she can't depend on me for happiness anymore and has focused most of her "non-family" energy towards the gym and towards becoming a fitness instructor. She is still an amazing woman and a wonderful mother and for all intents and purposes, she loves me on a platonic level.
Me, on the other hand - now that the MS program has finished, she told me I was totally self involved during the program and she had to suffer through it and effectively lost her sex drive as a result.
I'm trying to make amends but no matter what I do, she literally has NO interest in sex. She says its ok if she just lies there while I go at it. when we do have sex, she'll remark afterwards, "are you happy now?" She also knows that whenever I try to get close, it will lead to an advance, so while we're sitting together or whatever, she'll comment on, "well, I'd ask you to massage my quads but I know where your hands will end up" or if she's tired and she lays her head down on my lap, she'll say, "I could hear your brain wanting to push me down there..."
The thing is, she pushes away. When I comment on how good she looks or how she's really beautiful, she'll rebuff and say, "thank you, but you're still not getting any" or something like that.
So, I've resigned myself to a sexless life. I think all the time she spends at the gym has changed how she looks at me. Additionally, though she is still a great mom to our kids, by the time we spend time together, she's too busy practicing her workouts or stretching.
She frankly admits that she masturbates to get to sleep and that she'd rather do that than get messy with me.
Any advice from the cognoscenti here?
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