Before uni, I was quite sheltered in terms of boys - I'd only ever gone to 2nd and really hesitated to do more as I told myself I wanted to wait to lose my v to someone who it actually meant something with.. I'd never really had anything even close to a relationship either, like never even been on a date, and I didn't care as I told myself it was because I hadn't met anyone right yet
It came to freshers week and I lost it on the 2nd night to a guy on my floor.. Since then, I've slept with 5 others. They've all pretty much been one (or two) night stands, and after every single one I've hated myself and been gutted when they stopped texting after a day or two.
I hate how easy I've become and I just don't know why it's happened - I'm genuinely not that kind of person, I never go out on a night out looking for it, but the minute I get drunk and someone gives me some attention I give it away far too easily. I'm pretty insecure and I feel like this definitely stems from that
I would love to be in a relationship, I'm just worried I have/am starting to get a reputation for being easy and that puts guys off.. for example, there was a guy who I kinda liked, we were good friends and we'd been flirting on and off for the last few weeks, then I slept with him and since them he's pretty much ignored me.. which has made me feel awful
Really been feeling pretty down about myself recently, very glad it's the easter holidays and I've been able to get away from it all. Any advice would be appreciated :)
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