My sister and I was having a conversation this morning about our spouses. We married brothers by the way. Her husband has cheated multiple times and she knows this but has chosen to forgive him again and again. Because that is my husband's brother, I had a very hard time not wanting to kill him because of seeing how hurt my sister was. At one point, everyone in the family gave her money to get a lawyer to start divorce proceedings. When he was served with the papers, he came crawling back. I had to make peace that she wanted to remain in her situation.
Now, I found out 2 years ago that my husband cheated on me at least twice with the most recent being with my brother's wife. I forgive him but realize through response with posting on this site I agree that I rug swept our issues under the rug and possibly forgave too easily. I asked her that when you say you forgive someone doesn't that mean you don't bring up the topic again. I am still having trust issues with him and I don't know if that is going to change. The person that I had given my soul and heart is no longer recognizable to me. He has become more detached and I don't feel emotionally connected to him any more. I do as my pastor suggest and don't deny him access to my body but I no longer feel valued or wanted by him.
My sister suggested that I make him jealous by flirting, and obtaining male friends. It seemed ridiculous as if something a teenager might do to gain attention from a boyfriend. When I got married, I no longer looked or craved attention from the other sex. When I'm approached by someone, I readily tell them that I am married. I'm 45 years old and I though playing these childish game would be over after I got married. To make it worst, I am really considering it. Because I forgave too easily, I don't want him to think I'm a pushover and I'll accept this behavior from him.:confused:
Now, I found out 2 years ago that my husband cheated on me at least twice with the most recent being with my brother's wife. I forgive him but realize through response with posting on this site I agree that I rug swept our issues under the rug and possibly forgave too easily. I asked her that when you say you forgive someone doesn't that mean you don't bring up the topic again. I am still having trust issues with him and I don't know if that is going to change. The person that I had given my soul and heart is no longer recognizable to me. He has become more detached and I don't feel emotionally connected to him any more. I do as my pastor suggest and don't deny him access to my body but I no longer feel valued or wanted by him.
My sister suggested that I make him jealous by flirting, and obtaining male friends. It seemed ridiculous as if something a teenager might do to gain attention from a boyfriend. When I got married, I no longer looked or craved attention from the other sex. When I'm approached by someone, I readily tell them that I am married. I'm 45 years old and I though playing these childish game would be over after I got married. To make it worst, I am really considering it. Because I forgave too easily, I don't want him to think I'm a pushover and I'll accept this behavior from him.:confused:
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