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Trapped

What I want to know is has anyone ever been in a situation like this where the marriage lasted?

My husband and I have been married for 9 years. We have an 8 year old son and a 5 year old daughter. We both love them.

I do not like my husband anymore. If I had to choose someone to go to the movies with or vacation with it would not be him. Is he cruel? No he just annoys the crap out of me everything he says and does makes me want to punch him in the throat. I know what you are thinking years of resentment have led you to this well maybe so.

Background: When we started dating the very first time we had sex I thought, man this is not good, but I thought I was good enough that I could fix him. You know show him some moves, boost his confidence....ummm negative. He is VANILLA. I don't think I'm a freak but dang lets spice it up....nope. He literally lasts maybe 2 minutes if I'm lucky. I once asked if we could tie each other up and you would have thought I had said I was gonna make him have sex with an animal. He pretty much called me a pervert and that hurt my feelings so much that since then I just let him have his 2 minutes and then take care of myself. He CANNOT be improved in the bedroom. He doesn't have it in him nor does he have the equipment which = a very disappointed me.

He has a good job as do I. He knows I'm not happy but thinks we should be. He thinks we will be together forever. I told him I'm leaving when the kids are grown but in the past 5 years I have had 2 affairs. Only part of it is the sexual needs. I think the other part is I need to feel like a woman, like I'm desirable. I feel like my husband and I are more like siblings now. I don't hate him. I don't want anything bad to happen to him.

Also, I am afraid that the person I am currently having an affair with is in love with me. I care about him but falling in love was not what was supposed to happen. I'm afraid if I end the affair he will confront my husband in order to force my hand at ending the relationship. So even if I decide to give it another shot, it may already be out of my hands.


I'm scared for me and my children to have to start over. I'm scared of how angry he will be when he knows I'm seriously over our relationship. I don't know if I even have the nerve to finally end it.

Should I try and stay until our children are grown in order to provide them with 2 parents that love them as well as providing them with a pretty comfy childhood?

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