Long story short, my husband likes flirting with strangers. Not in person, online. With pictures. Nude pictures. And very inappropriate conversations.
He's never met up with anyone (he says), and he doesn't continue a relationship with these people. Just signs up for dating sites, gets pictures and compliments, and moves on to the next person.
He's been caught three times doing this (CAUGHT three times, he's done it dozens upon dozens of times. Just three incidents of it all coming out in the open).
This is the third time a couple days ago. Last time I told him I was done. Here I am, finding it hard to hold onto my word. He says this time he wants to stop, that he's happily married, and asked that I go with him to a counselor. Which we did yesterday.
The counselor says it's an addiction, and my husband admitted he's done this for most of his adult life, even before me. To which the counselor says again, addiction. Like a drug that he wants the high from but feels guilty over. That he needs help with it like any addict.
I am finding it extremely hard to see it like that. I've never been addicted to anything but... it just seems too easy. It's an excuse to me. If it's an addiction, he assumes no responsibility for it. Like it's not his fault. I don't think that's good enough.
Not to mention that I don't believe he actually wants to stop. I think the counselor is just an excuse to keep me from leaving.
I just... I don't know what to do. I have never been this conflicted.
On one hand, I love him and I don't want to leave and then regret it; I don't want to feel like I should have supported him.
On the other hand, I don't want to have to spend the rest of my life holding his hand and looking over his shoulder.
Will it ever get better? Should I just leave? Is it even an addiction?
He's never met up with anyone (he says), and he doesn't continue a relationship with these people. Just signs up for dating sites, gets pictures and compliments, and moves on to the next person.
He's been caught three times doing this (CAUGHT three times, he's done it dozens upon dozens of times. Just three incidents of it all coming out in the open).
This is the third time a couple days ago. Last time I told him I was done. Here I am, finding it hard to hold onto my word. He says this time he wants to stop, that he's happily married, and asked that I go with him to a counselor. Which we did yesterday.
The counselor says it's an addiction, and my husband admitted he's done this for most of his adult life, even before me. To which the counselor says again, addiction. Like a drug that he wants the high from but feels guilty over. That he needs help with it like any addict.
I am finding it extremely hard to see it like that. I've never been addicted to anything but... it just seems too easy. It's an excuse to me. If it's an addiction, he assumes no responsibility for it. Like it's not his fault. I don't think that's good enough.
Not to mention that I don't believe he actually wants to stop. I think the counselor is just an excuse to keep me from leaving.
I just... I don't know what to do. I have never been this conflicted.
On one hand, I love him and I don't want to leave and then regret it; I don't want to feel like I should have supported him.
On the other hand, I don't want to have to spend the rest of my life holding his hand and looking over his shoulder.
Will it ever get better? Should I just leave? Is it even an addiction?
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