Those of you who know my story and know me know that things have been relatively smooth sailing since my divorce.
In the last few months, ex is really "flexing his muscles" when it comes to the kids and what is "best" for them (according to him).
My son turns 21 this summer. My daughter turns 18 in less than 3 weeks. She is done trying to make it work living with him. Basically, all the passive-aggressive hurt, shame, guilt, manipulation, games, he used to project towards ME, he is now projecting towards HER.
His arguments with her are unwarranted (a PA attempt to feed his narcissistic need for control). She wants to (and has) moved back to my house with me and my SO, who never interferes, and who she ADORES. She can't stand my ex's interfering girlfriend who tries to "mother" her, and whose side her dad ALWAYS takes.
He is now threatening to "cut off" her 529 funds (same thing his parents did to him; history repeating itself) if she stays with me this summer (even though she will be 18 then) and doesn't choose the college HE wants her to choose. Only a small difference in college costs (less than $4,000 per year) but I honestly believe this is all about CONTROLLING her, not about which college is the best fit. Unfortunately, the 529 is only in his name and her name, so I have no control over it. There is a smaller 529 in her name and MY name (all set up this way when we were married, for tax purposes) so I can access those small funds, but not the bulk of it. What a schmuck.
I could use some real words of encouragement from others who have dealt with toxic ex-spouses. My family (who used to adore him) can't STAND him at all.
Enjoli? Are you around? Anyone's input is welcome...
In the last few months, ex is really "flexing his muscles" when it comes to the kids and what is "best" for them (according to him).
My son turns 21 this summer. My daughter turns 18 in less than 3 weeks. She is done trying to make it work living with him. Basically, all the passive-aggressive hurt, shame, guilt, manipulation, games, he used to project towards ME, he is now projecting towards HER.
His arguments with her are unwarranted (a PA attempt to feed his narcissistic need for control). She wants to (and has) moved back to my house with me and my SO, who never interferes, and who she ADORES. She can't stand my ex's interfering girlfriend who tries to "mother" her, and whose side her dad ALWAYS takes.
He is now threatening to "cut off" her 529 funds (same thing his parents did to him; history repeating itself) if she stays with me this summer (even though she will be 18 then) and doesn't choose the college HE wants her to choose. Only a small difference in college costs (less than $4,000 per year) but I honestly believe this is all about CONTROLLING her, not about which college is the best fit. Unfortunately, the 529 is only in his name and her name, so I have no control over it. There is a smaller 529 in her name and MY name (all set up this way when we were married, for tax purposes) so I can access those small funds, but not the bulk of it. What a schmuck.
I could use some real words of encouragement from others who have dealt with toxic ex-spouses. My family (who used to adore him) can't STAND him at all.
Enjoli? Are you around? Anyone's input is welcome...
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