Wondering if others have experienced a spouse who after years of belligerent and confrontational behaviour still occasionally tries some tenderness and intimacy, even after receiving the divorce papers? And how'd you handle it?
Wife & I stopped MC in early December (after 14 months) agreeing with councillor that separation/divorce only outcome after long conflict-ridden and intimacy-free marriage. After a hostile xmas with wife's usual tantrums, by early Jan she was hesitating on getting her lawyer (despite threatening divorce regularly for last 3 years and agreeing no way to reconcile) so I gave her the papers last week.
A few days later and she's initiating morning cuddles. WTF?
Maybe foolishly, but I half-heartedly played along and we dozed for a few mins before I got up and on with my day. I am very wary of being pissy about this stuff and acting all butt-hurt. Also, I can't say I did not enjoy the closeness of another adult, but convinced it's just another extreme mood-swing, or her trying to show that I'm the bad-guy.
So, how best to handle this? We're gonna be sharing a bed for the next 6 months and while sex is certainly off the agenda, divorce is hard on us both and maybe some minimal physical contact could smooth the way and deflect some of the natural anger we'll both be feeling during the process?
Wife & I stopped MC in early December (after 14 months) agreeing with councillor that separation/divorce only outcome after long conflict-ridden and intimacy-free marriage. After a hostile xmas with wife's usual tantrums, by early Jan she was hesitating on getting her lawyer (despite threatening divorce regularly for last 3 years and agreeing no way to reconcile) so I gave her the papers last week.
A few days later and she's initiating morning cuddles. WTF?
Maybe foolishly, but I half-heartedly played along and we dozed for a few mins before I got up and on with my day. I am very wary of being pissy about this stuff and acting all butt-hurt. Also, I can't say I did not enjoy the closeness of another adult, but convinced it's just another extreme mood-swing, or her trying to show that I'm the bad-guy.
So, how best to handle this? We're gonna be sharing a bed for the next 6 months and while sex is certainly off the agenda, divorce is hard on us both and maybe some minimal physical contact could smooth the way and deflect some of the natural anger we'll both be feeling during the process?
Put the internet to work for you.
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