I have just moved away for numerous reasons but majorly due to my so called friends... (All male and i am female. Just always got on better with males) They took me for granted, I always lend them money, buying them drugs/ alcohol and they just didn't have any respect for me. This basically built up for a while and one night got too drunk and it came all out not so well... It actually ended me being taken home in a cop car for being to drunk. Didn't get arrested thank god.
I wasn't proud of my behaviour and I am still ashamed now. I know for a start most of you will say "if take drugs" kind of ain't the people you wanna be hanging round with. But I haven't been in the best places for a long while and I just wanted to feel accepted...
Since moving away, I managed to secure a job and even have my own place but when visiting my home town tonight, I ended up being hurt, upset and angry at the fact these "friends" are
basically happier without me and glad I have left. Found out a majority of them have been **** about me and saying "they have tried to help me." They haven't at all. They haven't asked how I have been etc. they don't understand me or how I feel and that also hurts. I understand about my behaviour but one of them actually got arrested before and everyone just seemed to forgive them like that :/..
What hurts the most is that I see pics of them on FACEBOOK having a good time with these new girls... It feels like they have moved on so quickly and don't even consider how I feel. I don't think highly of these girls admittedly but I can't judge and won't. I feel like deleting them and try and move on. But atm I feel like I have nothing. I needed a new start so I did the brave thing and leave my family and friends behind.. But I just feel so lost...
Plus one of them owes me £100 and I need to give them their XBOX back and psychology books.. But I'm just willing to call it quits and leave them to it. I just feel like I did everything for them - like seriously bailed someone out when a drug dealer beat up one of them and then threatened to kill him - I would
honestly do anything for them... But instead they saying crap about me, seeming to have a better time without me. I thought they would at least care about our friendship but they really don't..
I just don't know what to do... I don't want to care but unfortunately I do. I definitely feel hurt. Has anyone else been this mistreated by friends..? Anyone know how I can just not care? I'm not perfect myself - I know this - I have made mistakes but a majority of the time it's chase of bottling up how I feel and how I feel I am being treated - it just finally comes out...
Any advice would be greatly appreciated thanks..
J.
Put the internet to work for you.
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