This can apply to either husband or wife, but since I'm a man, I will use a husbands point of view. Nothing said is meant to offend anyone, I hate people fighting on here.
First off, here are methods that almost never work, at least effectively: begging, guilting, bribing, threatening, rewarding, punishing etc.
If you two love each other, then sex isn't the problem, it's something else. If a marriage is strong, sex is a side effect from feeling close to each other, it will just happen. In my opinion, all the countless excuses are a way to make the uninterested spouse feel better about declining, to ease guilt or whatever?
As a man, and this is providing you are a good husband and taking good care of your wife, you shouldn't have to request sex and the more you do, the more your self esteem & manliness will dwindle. You become a dog waiting for a treat, because they made it all day without pooping on the rug.
Guys, like myself will obsess with what we are doing right or wrong, "am I doing too much, too little", read countless books, see therapists etc., and then end up more depressed because it didn't change anything. If your spouse continually tells you that you are perfect, they love you and wouldn't change a thing, then you are between a rock and a hard place. If spouses would just spell it out, a lot of this guessing and brainstorming wouldn't be needed.
I don't know any women who would be turned on by a guy trying so hard to have sex with her. It comes across as needy and insecure. I was guilty of this a lot in the past, but not anymore.
One more thing, when it is offered don't turn it down. Whether it's duty sex, a quickie, whatever, it's still sex and still connecting, you never know when the well will completely dry up?
First off, here are methods that almost never work, at least effectively: begging, guilting, bribing, threatening, rewarding, punishing etc.
If you two love each other, then sex isn't the problem, it's something else. If a marriage is strong, sex is a side effect from feeling close to each other, it will just happen. In my opinion, all the countless excuses are a way to make the uninterested spouse feel better about declining, to ease guilt or whatever?
As a man, and this is providing you are a good husband and taking good care of your wife, you shouldn't have to request sex and the more you do, the more your self esteem & manliness will dwindle. You become a dog waiting for a treat, because they made it all day without pooping on the rug.
Guys, like myself will obsess with what we are doing right or wrong, "am I doing too much, too little", read countless books, see therapists etc., and then end up more depressed because it didn't change anything. If your spouse continually tells you that you are perfect, they love you and wouldn't change a thing, then you are between a rock and a hard place. If spouses would just spell it out, a lot of this guessing and brainstorming wouldn't be needed.
I don't know any women who would be turned on by a guy trying so hard to have sex with her. It comes across as needy and insecure. I was guilty of this a lot in the past, but not anymore.
One more thing, when it is offered don't turn it down. Whether it's duty sex, a quickie, whatever, it's still sex and still connecting, you never know when the well will completely dry up?
Put the internet to work for you.
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