Hi Everyone,
I have been lurking on here for a while but not had the courage to point until now. I saw a very similar thread from a woman who found out her husband was bi so after much deliberation I have decided to post to get some advice on my issue.
hI am a 35 year old man, married with 3 children. I got married at 27 but we have been together since I was 23. Children aged 6,4 & 2. We are a happily married couple and my wife and family mean everything to me. The issue I have is that I have never been 100% able to label my sexuality...this is the first time I have ever 'spoken' about this so here goes......
Since I was a teen, I always knew that I had the capability to feel sexual attraction to both men and women. All of my relationships have been with women and I have never so much as kissed a guy even though I acknowledge my attraction.
When I met my wife it was like a thunderbolt and we got serious very quickly. I didn't really think about my confusion over my sexuality as I was ( and still am) very happy with my wife. A few weeks ago I read an article regarding a man who had left his wife for another guy after several years of marriage following several affairs with other men. Lots of readers had posted very negative comments about how was 'the lowest of the low' and how he had deceived her. This has made me really paranoid and worried even though I can't really relate to that guy as my situation is different.
I have NEVER cheated on my wife and as far as I am concerned we are together forever. I took my marriage vows seriously and would not risk losing my family for a moment of madness. I have never felt repressed or like I am living a lie. In fact, I am VERY happy with my life. I have a very good physical relationship with my wife and am satisfied with the sexual aspect of our marriage.
I have no desire to experiment etc but I am wondering if I have been deceitful by not speaking to her about my attractions. The reader comments have made me feel like I am sort of lying husband although I have NEVER thought of myself in that way. I have never discussed by potential bisexuality with her as it never seemed relevant and I guess I worried that it would freak her out and push her away. I could not bear that.
As I mentioned earlier. I have NEVER had a male - male experience. I have seen male porn but then I have also seen a lot of straight porn. My wife has no issue with porn as long as its done discreetly although she probably thinks its just straight stuff. It's very rare that I view porn as it interests me less as I get older.
So I guess my question is am I being deceitful and should I have a conversation with her about my attractions even though I've no intention of acting on it? I accept that a conversation prior to us getting married would have been a good idea but there is nothing I can do about that now. Would welcome any advice.
I have been lurking on here for a while but not had the courage to point until now. I saw a very similar thread from a woman who found out her husband was bi so after much deliberation I have decided to post to get some advice on my issue.
hI am a 35 year old man, married with 3 children. I got married at 27 but we have been together since I was 23. Children aged 6,4 & 2. We are a happily married couple and my wife and family mean everything to me. The issue I have is that I have never been 100% able to label my sexuality...this is the first time I have ever 'spoken' about this so here goes......
Since I was a teen, I always knew that I had the capability to feel sexual attraction to both men and women. All of my relationships have been with women and I have never so much as kissed a guy even though I acknowledge my attraction.
When I met my wife it was like a thunderbolt and we got serious very quickly. I didn't really think about my confusion over my sexuality as I was ( and still am) very happy with my wife. A few weeks ago I read an article regarding a man who had left his wife for another guy after several years of marriage following several affairs with other men. Lots of readers had posted very negative comments about how was 'the lowest of the low' and how he had deceived her. This has made me really paranoid and worried even though I can't really relate to that guy as my situation is different.
I have NEVER cheated on my wife and as far as I am concerned we are together forever. I took my marriage vows seriously and would not risk losing my family for a moment of madness. I have never felt repressed or like I am living a lie. In fact, I am VERY happy with my life. I have a very good physical relationship with my wife and am satisfied with the sexual aspect of our marriage.
I have no desire to experiment etc but I am wondering if I have been deceitful by not speaking to her about my attractions. The reader comments have made me feel like I am sort of lying husband although I have NEVER thought of myself in that way. I have never discussed by potential bisexuality with her as it never seemed relevant and I guess I worried that it would freak her out and push her away. I could not bear that.
As I mentioned earlier. I have NEVER had a male - male experience. I have seen male porn but then I have also seen a lot of straight porn. My wife has no issue with porn as long as its done discreetly although she probably thinks its just straight stuff. It's very rare that I view porn as it interests me less as I get older.
So I guess my question is am I being deceitful and should I have a conversation with her about my attractions even though I've no intention of acting on it? I accept that a conversation prior to us getting married would have been a good idea but there is nothing I can do about that now. Would welcome any advice.
Put the internet to work for you.
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