So my day starts off with my wife heading off to work like any other day. I have a quick coffee and then wake my girls up for school. Grab another coffee and try relax a little before we have to leave. My youngest daughter (10yrs) comes and starts trying to tell me something by making a short story long. I finally have to cut her off after about 5 minutes to find out what she wants to tell me.
Damn it! Wouldn't you know "dad the toilet is pouring water all over the floor" I go look, sure enough water everywhere!!! I ask her why didn't you put some towels on it? She couldn't find a roll of paper towels....aaarrrggg!!!!
I go to check the downstairs bathroom for water and wipe out in a big puddle outside the door and smack my head on the tile floor.
Now I have a headache and two bathrooms to clean up. While doing it my oldest daughter (12yrs) starts yelling that we have to get going!!! Meanwhile I'm soaked, the floors are still covered in water then the dog decides he wants to play with the towels I'm trying to wipe the floor with (2 1/2yr old bull mastiff Rotweiller cross) I get the towel back and figure I should put him out until I'm done... Big mistake!!! I get up take one step and wipe out again. This time hitting my elbow on the door frame. By now I'm thinking I'll be lucky to get out of the house alive!!!
Meanwhile both daughters are standing there laughing at me. Needless to say I was pissed!!! I thought to myself you can handle this two ways. You can freak out because you are in a shîtty mood, or, which I did, start laughing as well. They actually each grabbed some towels and helped out. My god!!! If I had been standing up I probably would've fallen over.
Finally we get to my parents house (where they catch the school bus) and my oldest says "dad, I forgot my binder" ok. Things aren't funny any more. I asked where she put it and drove home to get it. Drive back and give it to her and asked if she got her homework finished. "I didn't have homework. I brought it home because I had to put paper in it"
Wow!!! I haven't had a day start that bad in a long time! I head to work and grab a toilet auger and go home to clear the drain. ( no, I didn't wipe out a third time) I run the auger into the toilet and the water drains. Bingo!!! I got it cleared out. At least I thought I did. The auger won't come out!!! It is freakin' jammed in the toilet!!!! Grab my tool bag from my truck, take the toilet off and find it tangled in paper and a chick bone!!! YES, A CHICKEN BONE!!!
After school I ask the girls about it. The youngest flushed it so it wouldn't be in the garbage can (didn't want the dog to get it).
Fast foreward. My wife brings the girls to gymnastics and I get our dinner ready. She gets home, we have a nice meal then SHE asks if I want to fool around. Hot damn!!! That's a rare ocurrance!! I'm damn near naked before she finished her sentence. I jump into bed, she walks in naked and I'm thinking maybe the day wasn't so bad after all.
She gets one knee on the bed and the phone rings. We have talking caller Id and it's my youngest daughter. All I hear is are you all right? Ok dear I'll be there right away.
Some days it doesn't pay to get up!!
I guess I should have stayed in bed this morning.
Did you ever have a day like this???
Damn it! Wouldn't you know "dad the toilet is pouring water all over the floor" I go look, sure enough water everywhere!!! I ask her why didn't you put some towels on it? She couldn't find a roll of paper towels....aaarrrggg!!!!
I go to check the downstairs bathroom for water and wipe out in a big puddle outside the door and smack my head on the tile floor.
Now I have a headache and two bathrooms to clean up. While doing it my oldest daughter (12yrs) starts yelling that we have to get going!!! Meanwhile I'm soaked, the floors are still covered in water then the dog decides he wants to play with the towels I'm trying to wipe the floor with (2 1/2yr old bull mastiff Rotweiller cross) I get the towel back and figure I should put him out until I'm done... Big mistake!!! I get up take one step and wipe out again. This time hitting my elbow on the door frame. By now I'm thinking I'll be lucky to get out of the house alive!!!
Meanwhile both daughters are standing there laughing at me. Needless to say I was pissed!!! I thought to myself you can handle this two ways. You can freak out because you are in a shîtty mood, or, which I did, start laughing as well. They actually each grabbed some towels and helped out. My god!!! If I had been standing up I probably would've fallen over.
Finally we get to my parents house (where they catch the school bus) and my oldest says "dad, I forgot my binder" ok. Things aren't funny any more. I asked where she put it and drove home to get it. Drive back and give it to her and asked if she got her homework finished. "I didn't have homework. I brought it home because I had to put paper in it"
Wow!!! I haven't had a day start that bad in a long time! I head to work and grab a toilet auger and go home to clear the drain. ( no, I didn't wipe out a third time) I run the auger into the toilet and the water drains. Bingo!!! I got it cleared out. At least I thought I did. The auger won't come out!!! It is freakin' jammed in the toilet!!!! Grab my tool bag from my truck, take the toilet off and find it tangled in paper and a chick bone!!! YES, A CHICKEN BONE!!!
After school I ask the girls about it. The youngest flushed it so it wouldn't be in the garbage can (didn't want the dog to get it).
Fast foreward. My wife brings the girls to gymnastics and I get our dinner ready. She gets home, we have a nice meal then SHE asks if I want to fool around. Hot damn!!! That's a rare ocurrance!! I'm damn near naked before she finished her sentence. I jump into bed, she walks in naked and I'm thinking maybe the day wasn't so bad after all.
She gets one knee on the bed and the phone rings. We have talking caller Id and it's my youngest daughter. All I hear is are you all right? Ok dear I'll be there right away.
Some days it doesn't pay to get up!!
I guess I should have stayed in bed this morning.
Did you ever have a day like this???
Put the internet to work for you.
No comments:
Post a Comment