Ok, this is probably gonna be a really whiny post...and I really need some objective advice on how to snap myself out of it.
Long story short: My husband just lost his contract job last week. This is the 5th time in 2 years. He has a BS, very intelligent, but keeps taking these temp jobs and the contracts always end very abruptly and without notice. (We're both in our early 30's...been together 8ish years.) Unemployment then lasts anywhere from a couple weeks to a few months.
The cycle is the same: I get upset and start worrying about money and making ends meet. I act all put upon because the stress of remaining the steady bread winner can be exhausting, I'm the only one worrying over bills and I blame him for putting us in this position over and over again.
He gets very depressed. He tries to be happy and positive, but I know he's hurting tremendously inside. I know he is ashamed that I've been taking care of us financially for this long. I know this situation bothers him as much as it does me, if not moreso.
In September, I hit rock bottom in a horrible depression episode. He was there for me in every sense of the word. I really don't know if I could have made it through without him. We share so much love and neither of us are going anywhere. And now...I'm just so consistently bummed. Got on meds for depression (turns out I'm bipolar...that explains a lot) but this feels like such a big set back.
A few weeks ago, we even stumbled upon some great kinks that neither of us knew we shared. We had sex every day for about a week straight...something I can't remember happening...ever?
I really want to WANT to get back into the bedroom (I know it would do us both good), I want to be excited and content at home...But I just feel awful. I know he does too. To boot...my birthday is just a few days away. There are no plans for it at all. (I usually obsess over my bday but this year...I'm actually dreading it.) That, too, makes me way more sad than it probably should. (Do I sound like a whiny brat yet??)
So, that's most of it. How can I just suck it up and be happy like we were just a couple weeks ago? I feel sick to my stomach most of the time now...while the meds are helping a lot, they aren't a cure all for every day life. I'm just having a hard time dealing...and so is he.
What can I do to keep our home happy during this trying time when we both just feel terrible?
Any and all advice is greatly appreciated! I know it could be sooooo much worse...I just get frustrated and need some perspective. Thanks!
Long story short: My husband just lost his contract job last week. This is the 5th time in 2 years. He has a BS, very intelligent, but keeps taking these temp jobs and the contracts always end very abruptly and without notice. (We're both in our early 30's...been together 8ish years.) Unemployment then lasts anywhere from a couple weeks to a few months.
The cycle is the same: I get upset and start worrying about money and making ends meet. I act all put upon because the stress of remaining the steady bread winner can be exhausting, I'm the only one worrying over bills and I blame him for putting us in this position over and over again.
He gets very depressed. He tries to be happy and positive, but I know he's hurting tremendously inside. I know he is ashamed that I've been taking care of us financially for this long. I know this situation bothers him as much as it does me, if not moreso.
In September, I hit rock bottom in a horrible depression episode. He was there for me in every sense of the word. I really don't know if I could have made it through without him. We share so much love and neither of us are going anywhere. And now...I'm just so consistently bummed. Got on meds for depression (turns out I'm bipolar...that explains a lot) but this feels like such a big set back.
A few weeks ago, we even stumbled upon some great kinks that neither of us knew we shared. We had sex every day for about a week straight...something I can't remember happening...ever?
I really want to WANT to get back into the bedroom (I know it would do us both good), I want to be excited and content at home...But I just feel awful. I know he does too. To boot...my birthday is just a few days away. There are no plans for it at all. (I usually obsess over my bday but this year...I'm actually dreading it.) That, too, makes me way more sad than it probably should. (Do I sound like a whiny brat yet??)
So, that's most of it. How can I just suck it up and be happy like we were just a couple weeks ago? I feel sick to my stomach most of the time now...while the meds are helping a lot, they aren't a cure all for every day life. I'm just having a hard time dealing...and so is he.
What can I do to keep our home happy during this trying time when we both just feel terrible?
Any and all advice is greatly appreciated! I know it could be sooooo much worse...I just get frustrated and need some perspective. Thanks!
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