Hi, I'm new here. I found this site in hopes to help myself and my husband. My husband is an amputee now for 14 years. I was with him through everything when he was hurt in his sawmill accident. We worked hard and prouded ourselves on the life we had and friendship we had together. 3 years after we had a son! We both were at that time still young in our 20's and were smoking pot and drinking. Fast forward 10 years and we both quit pot as we realized how paranoid and lazy and stupid we were being. We became active well as much as my husband can and started going out more to dinner and sporting events with our son. Through this time period we disconnected ourselves from the friends that we had because we didn't want to be around them with the pot. During this time frame my husbands alcohol picked up a lot to the point that he would leave to go get us dinner and not come home till 2 am. I would cry and worry while he was gone not knowing. Last year he got a DUI because of this "going to get dinner routine". I helped of course get him to work and get him back behind the wheel as I was promised he would never do this again. the last 4 months we have been fighting and it's not just fighting over a disagreement its his chat site and porn that he now uses A LOT. He will tell me to leave or go to bed and I find him on these sites when I wake up to go to the bathroom. Now I am still young mind you and still want sex and am not boring or refuse. I get mad at him and then he gets very defensive, hurtful and mean. This has happened too many times and last night as he just got his license back he went to 2 bars when he was to go get himself dinner as I was out with out son. I ended up finding him at the last bar and took his keys. BOY he didn't like that and was very mean... the things he's said still ring in my ear.. He is my life and my sons. I am very depressed and told him I was leaving packed and was going when he gave all his beer a way and said he was done with everything, meaning beer and websites, etc. His mother and I believe he has not really worked through his accident and uses all of this to feel wanted or like a man? IDK. All I know is I am lost I don't have anyone but his loving family that has been there last night and many nights before for me and him and I feel like I am the most unwanted person. I've lost myself these last 12 years we've been married, 18 years together total and I know my mom in heaven is helping me cope but will he go back and do this all again repeating over and over as he's done in the past? School is starting and I don't want to put my son under that kind of stress because when he isn't drinking he is pretty thoughtful and is a great dad.....
Put the internet to work for you.
No comments:
Post a Comment